从跨文化角度浅析中西方社交礼仪的差异
从跨文化角度浅析中西方社交礼仪的差异
摘要：中西方之间的社交礼仪有着很大的差别，不了解这差别必然导致交际障碍，冲突和误解。本文对比并分析了中西方社交礼仪之间存在的差异，从而使得人们走出交际误区。
一、引言
由于各国的历史与文化底蕴不同，各国人民在进行礼尚交往时的习惯也有不少差异。特别是中西方之间，礼仪上的差别很大，因为不了解这些差异而引起误会和笑话并不少见。由此可见，了解中西方礼尚交往得习惯差异很有必要的。往大处来说，一个国家无论在政治上，还是经济贸易中。了解对方的礼仪习惯，将有利于各国之间的交往。从小出来讲，一个人了解对方的礼仪民族习惯，是对对方的尊重，容易给对方留下一个好印象。以便交往的顺利进行。
二、中西方社交礼仪的差异
（一）打招呼
汉语和英语在见面语方面有许多差异。概括起来有以下几种：
1、中国人之间彼此较为熟悉的人见面问候时，一般采用下列用语：“上哪去？”、“吃过了吗？”如果把这些问候语直译成英语（即：Where are you going Have you eaten yet”)。美国人可能会迷茫，困惑，有时也可能引起误解。不了解汉习俗语，比如，问对方：“Have you eaten yet对方可能觉的这不是单纯的问候的话，而会误认为你可能发出对他|她的邀请。又如“Where are you going”很可能引起对方的不快，所以他|她对这一句话的反应极有可能是：“It’s none of you r business.(你管得着吗）
。
2、汉语中见面打招呼的另一个通常方式是就对方的做得事发问。例如，一个人在扫地，你可以说：“扫地呢？你下班回来的时候，妻子在做饭，你可以说：
“做饭呢？”在英语中被人看作是明知故问，在有的场合甚至会被认为是对于个人隐私的侵犯。
3、在英语中祝愿性质的见语与比较多，例如Good morning, Good afternoon，Good evening, Good day ,Good night都是祝愿性的。而汉语中比较少。北方人早上见面说：“你早！”或者“早！”广东人早上见面说：“早晨！”在功能上他们与Good morning 是相同的，但是严格来说意思是不一样。“早安”“早上好”、“晚安”都是从英语翻译过来的，适用范围比较小。Good day则至今还没有很妥帖的译法。
（二）称呼
在英美国家，人们相互间称呼与我国的习惯相差极大。有些称呼在中国人看来有违情理，不礼貌，没教养。比如：小孩子不把爷爷奶奶称作grandpa和grandma,而是直呼其名，却是得体，亲切的，年轻人称老年人，可在姓氏前加Mr,Mrs 或Miss。比如：Mr.Smith、Mrs.Smith、Miss.Alice等。在汉语里，我们可以用“老师、书记、经理、工程师”等词与姓氏连用作称呼语，而在英语中却不能，我们不能说“Teacher Zhang”（张老师），“engineer Wu”(吴工程师）等。正确的说法是应按照美国人的习惯把Mr、Mrs、Miss与姓（名）连用表示尊敬或礼貌。中国人称呼家庭成员、亲戚或邻居时，往往用“大哥”“二哥”“大嫂”之类，这些称呼不可用于英语。用英语称呼时不论男人还是女人，一般指虎其名就行了。
（三）恭维与谦虚
无论在我国文化中还是西方文化中，谦虚都是一种美德。妄自尊大的人一般都不受欢迎。西方人在收到恭维是说“谢谢”并不说明他们不谦虚。更何况也不是每个都说“谢谢”。英美人表示谦虚有很多方式，例如，以往在信的末尾写“Your humble servant”.在谈到几个人时，习惯上是把自己放到最后，例如，说“My wife and I”,而不说“I and My wife”,说“my colleagues and I”,而不说“I and my colleagues”。谈到自己的贡献是可能会说“This is what little I can do”,故意把自己的贡献说小一些。而我们表示谦虚的方式与西方不同，程度也不同。
在我国的传统教育中谦虚是极为重要的一个方面，因此在社会生活的各个方面都要求人们谦虚名称为行为的准则。如说自己的意见是“不成熟的意见”，说自己的画是“习作”等等。由于中西方谦虚方式不同，程度不同，在进行交际时可能会出现一些误解，例如，当英美国家的人向我们中国人表示赞扬或祝贺时，我们即使心里高兴，嘴上难免要谦虚一番。着大概是我们中国人认为“谦虚”是一种美德的缘故，认为不这样就是对别人的不敬。例如：一位外国旅游者对导游小姐说：“Your English is very fluent(你的英语说的很流利）”“这位导游小姐谦虚地回答：“No,no My English is very poor.(不，不，我的英语讲的不好）”对于中国人的谦虚回答，美国人会误解为对方对自己的判断力表示怀疑。又如，再一次舞会上，一位美国人再养一位中国女士说：“You look beautiful today.(你今天很漂亮）”这位中国女士谦虚地说：“Where、Where(哪里，哪里）”幸亏这位美国人懂一点汉语习惯，非常巧妙地说了一句：“Every-Where”根据英美的习惯，当他们赞扬别人时，总希望别人一道谢或爽快的接受的方式作答，而不希望一谦虚、客气的方式作答。对于上面两位的赞扬、恭维话，英美人的作答是：“Thank you!”
“Thank you for saying so.”
（四）道别
来访的客人在结束访问时都要想主人告别，但是，在不同的文化中告别的方式和节奏不同。英美人在向主人告别时往往要先表示几次，最后才站起来。正式的告别比较短暂。例如，英美人会说:“I guess we must be going soon.Our babysitter expects us to be back by ten-thirty.”(我们很快得走啦，我们家保姆希望我们十点半前回家）说完之后，客人并不立即站起来走，而实在聊些家常，过来几分钟以后，再说：“It’s getting late.We must run soon.(天晚了，我们要赶快走了）。在过几分钟，客人站起来说：“We have to say goodbye now.We enjoyed the evening very much.Thanks a lot(我们现在得说再见了。今天晚上过的很愉快。多谢了。）客人向门口走去，主人陪客人走到门口，再说两句客套话就算完成了告别的整个过程。与之相比，中国人的告别过程是前短后长。感觉到是告别的时候了，客人站起来说：“时候不早了，我们要走了。”或
者说：“明天早上还得上班，我们告辞了。”主人吧客人送到门口，甚至马路上，客人对主人说：“请留“
,主人最后要说：“走好”、“慢走”、“再来啊”等等。这些话都不能直译成英语，如果说Stay here,Go slowly, Walk slowly,Come again听起来不顺耳，也不符合英美的习惯，其实，微微一笑并作个表示再见的手势或说：“Good-bye”、“See you later”、“So long”、“Take care”就可以了。
（五）结语
因此，我们在学习英语时，应了解它的文化背景知识以及社会风俗习惯，随时将它与我们的母语进行对比，使自己自觉意识到不规范语言产生的根源和避免方法，进而增强使用规范语言的意识。
(六）参考文献
] Davis[1.L. Doing culture: Cross-culture Communication in Action.
Beijing: foreign Language Teaching&hing Press,2001
[2]Li, Yuxiang. Nonverbal Language in Chinese and https://www.sodocs.net/doc/375683347.html,-China Foreign Language. 2006
[3] Scollon, R. & Scollon, S. W. Intercultural Communication: A Discourse
Approach. Beijing: Foreign Language Teaching & Researching Press,2000 [4]Dorothea Johnson. The Little Book of Etiquette Protocol School of Washington, Philadelphia\London,Running Press.
[5] 陈安萍 . The function social etiquette among people.安徽工业大学学报（社会科学版）
[6]黄艳丽. 中西方文化差异与社交礼仪. 湖南吉首邵阳血缘学报（社会科学版），2005
[7] 王元玲. 李瑾. 英语学习与东西方交际文化差异[j] 临沂师专学报，1997
[8] 张爱苗. 浅析中西方社交礼仪的差异，焦作师范高等专科学校外语系，2008
[9] 胡文仲. 跨文化交际面面观. [M]．北京:外语教学与研究出版社，1999
[10] 贾玉新. 跨文化交际学 [M]. 上海：上海外语教育出版社，1997
[11]金正昆. 商务礼仪[M]. 西安：陕西师范大学出版社.2008
[12]孙爱珍. 中西方礼仪的差异 [J]. 太原师范学院学报，2002 ．
[13]佟玉华，张建国交际中的常用礼仪. 现代交际[J] 1994
[14] 邓慧. 论中西方文化对礼仪的影响 [J]. 沿海企业与科技.2005
A comparative study of the social Etiquette between Chinese and western From a cross-cultural perspective
Abstract: a big difference between Chinese and western social etiquette, People don't know this difference which is bound to lead to communication barriers, conflicts and misunderstandings. This paper contrasts and analyzes the differences between Chinese and western social etiquette, so as to make the people out of communication misunderstandings. 1, the introduction
Due to the different history and culture, the people of different countries in the decency communication habits have many differences. Especially between Chinese and western, ceremonial difference is very big, because they do not understand these differences and cause misunderstandings and jokes are not uncommon. Thus, understanding the difference Chinese and western courtesy and communication habits is necessary. To the major, a country in political, and economic trade, understand mutual etiquette habits,which will be conducive to exchanges between countries. Since to the small,
if a man understand mutual etiquette and national habits,who will be respected and give each other a good impression In the first in order to contact smoothly,
2, the difference between Chinese and western social etiquette 2.1 say "hello"
There are many differences about meet language between Chinese and English. there are the followings:
2.1.1the more familiar with each other between the Chinese people meet greetings, generally USES the following terms: "where to" , "eaten yet" If these greetings is literally translated into English (i.e., Where you going Have you eaten yet "). Americans may be lost, confused, sometimes may cause misunderstanding. Don't know Chinese custom language, for example Chinese people ask: "Have you eaten yet Americans may think this is not a simple greeting, and will think you may send to his | her invitation. And like "Where you going".which will be likely to cause the other party, so his | her response to this sentence is probably: "It's none of your business.”
2.1.2 greeting in China is another way which is usually needed to ask each other. For example, a man is sweeping the floor, you can say: "You are sweeping the floor When you come
back from work, your wife is cooking, you can say:" cooking "In English,all these are impolite,cause you obviously know these perfectly,you purposely ask them again. Even in some places think that the right of their privacy is broken .
2.1.3wishes is naturally used more and more in English language , such as Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening, Good day, Good night are wishes. But less in Chinese. Northerners morning meeting said: "you're early!" "Or" early!" Cantonese morning meeting said: "morning!"the function with Good morning is the same, but is not strictly. "Good morning" "good afternoon", "good night" are translated from English, the applicable scope is small. Good day, yet it is not very appropriate translation methods.
2.2 call
In Anglo-American countries, people call each other is different from our habits vary greatly. Some call in Chinese it seems counter-intuitive, rude, not upbringing. Such as: children don't call grandpa and grandma, but a first-name basis,which is decent, kind, young said the elderly, and they can add in front of the name of Mr, Mrs Or Miss. Such as: Mr. Smith, Mrs. Smith, Miss. Alice, etc. In Chinese, we can use "Teacher, secretary, manager, engineer" and other words it used
as a salutation with surname, and but in English, we can't say "the Teacher Wang" , "engineer" Wu (Wu engineer), etc. The correct statement should be in accordance with the habits of Americans put Mr, Mrs, Miss, and last name (name), respect or courtesy. The Chinese call the family members, relatives or neighbors, often with a "big brother" "second brother" "sister-in-law", these names cannot be used in English. When the call in English no matter men or women, generally refers to the tiger name.
2.3 the compliment and modest
Both Chinese culture and western culture, modesty is a virtue. Self-important people are generally unpopular. Westerners say "thank you" which doesn't mean they don't modest. What's more, someone not say "thank you". British and American people say that there are many ways to modest, for example, in the past at the end of the letter to write "Your humble servant". When talking about a few people,you should put yourself in the end, for example, said, "My wife and I", and don't say "I and My wife," said "My colleagues and I", and don't say "I and My colleagues". When it comes to their own contribution,they might say "This is what little I can do", not deliberately say his own contribution. And our modesty is not similar with the
western. In our traditional education of modesty is a very important aspect, so people in all aspects of social life demand that the modest name guidelines for action. If he calls his opinion that is "immature opinion", says he is the "paper" and so on. Due to varied degrees and western modesty has its treat, and there might be some communication misunderstandings, for example, when British and American people praise or congratulations Chinese, we are glad in the heart ,but we never say with our mouth. Perhaps we Chinese believe that "modesty" is a virtue's sake, don't think that what we have done disrespect for others. For example, a foreign tourist said to the tour guide : "Your English is very fluent, Your English is very fluent)" "the tour guide humbly replied:" No, No My English is very poor. (No, No, I can't speak English) "with the Chinese modesty answer, American will doubt whether their judgment is wrong. Another example, the ball again, an American said to a Chinese woman :" You look beautiful today. (You are so beautiful today), "the Chinese lady modestly said:" Where, Where, Where, Where) "thanks to the American understand a little Chinese habits, very cleverly said 1:" Every - Where " according to the British and American habits, when they praise others, always hope others to say：“ Thank You or readily accept
the answer”, but do not hope a modest and polite way to answer their praises. For the above two compliment, flattery, British and American will say:" Thank You! "" Thank you for saying so."
2.4say goodbye
During his visit to the end of the visiting guests were farewell to host, however, say goodbye to the way in different cultures and different rhythm. British and American people often say goodbye to the host said several times, finally stood up. A formal farewell is short. For example, British and American people will say: "I guess we must be going soon. Our babysitter expects us to be back by ten - thirty." (we have to go soon, Our family may hope we back home at half past ten-thirty) ,but the guest does not immediately stood up and walked,then talk about homely, a few minutes later, say again: "It 's getting late. We must run soon. (It's getting late; we need to hurry up to go). In a few minutes, the guest stood up and said:" we have to say goodbye now. We enjoyed the evening very much. Thanks a lot, we have to say goodbye now. Had a good time tonight. Thanks a lot.) The guest walk to the door, the master follow to the door, and say goodbye.By contrast, Chinese farewell process is short after long before. Feel it's time to say goodbye, the guest stood up and said: "it's getting late, we
have to go." Or: "we have to work tomorrow morning, we go now." Master sent the guest to the door, even on the road, the guest said to his master: "please stay", master finally say: "go", "care" and "come again", and so on. These words can't literally translate into English, if Stay here, Go slowly, Walk slowly, has again sounds a little weird, also does not conform to the British and American habit, in fact, smiled and said goodbye gestures or say: "Good - bye", "See you later", "So 3.five epilogue
Therefore, we are learning English, and should understand its cultural background knowledge and social customs and habits, always compare it with our mother tongue, which make you consciously aware of the root causes of non-standard language and avoid method, and then using specification language consciousness has been strong.
4.Reference
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[3] Scollon, R. & Scollon, S. W. Intercultural Communication:
A Discourse Approach. Beijing: Foreign Language Teaching &
Researching Press,2000
[4]Dorothea Johnson. The Little Book of Etiquette Protocol School of Washington, Philadelphia\London,Running Press.
[5] 陈安萍 . The function social etiquette among people.安徽工业大学学报（社会科学版）
[6]黄艳丽. 中西方文化差异与社交礼仪. 湖南吉首邵阳血缘学报（社会科学版），2005
[7] 王元玲. 李瑾. 英语学习与东西方交际文化差异[j] 临沂师专学报，1997
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