写作攻略之Personal History Statement

Personal History Statement写作攻略

Written by Administrator

Friday, 25 March 2011 22:11

一些UC系统的学校，比如UC Berkeley以及University of Michigan在申请材料要求方面除了要一份传统意义上的以motivation为主旨的PS(个人陈述: Personal Statement)或

者SOP(目的陈述: Statement of Purpose)之外，还需要一份个人经历陈述(Personal History Statement)。按照Berkeley的话说就是：

Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to

pursue a graduate degree. Please include information on how you have

overcome barriers to access higher education, evidence of how you have come

to understand the barriers faced by others, evidence of your academic

service to advance equitable access to higher education for women, racial

minorities, and individuals from other groups that have been historically underrepresented in higher education, evidence of your research focusing on

underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of

your leadership among such groups.

https://www.sodocs.net/doc/7815144226.html,/

由于相关的经验比较少，很多人把这个statement又写成了一份传统意义上的PS，或是把原先一个大的ps分拆成两个部分，其实这样做不是特别符合学校的原意。

美国大学的主旨和目的之一就是要引领社会的价值观，其中很重要的就是: Diversity and Broader Impact。

Diversity：美国很强调平等的观念，特别是机会平等的观念，而受教育机会的公平是机会平等的关键。试想如果奥巴马童鞋没有受过一流的教育，是没有成为美国总统的机会的。同时美国又是一个移民国家，特别在加州等地区，少数族裔(比如亚裔，西班牙裔) 等人数众多，但是由于历史和社会的原因，部分种群的受教育机会相对来说少一些，所以他们对于Under-represented background的学生会有所倾斜。这里所说的Under-repre sented,在美国这边不只是代表经济上或者政治上的弱势，也有性别,种族, 宗教...等等

，也有人去验DNA，说自己的是xxx的后裔，人数很少云云。。。总之只要是校园内的少数都可以讲，当然,国际学生也是under- represented的，但是千万不要说自己是中国人

或者亚裔为基本点来论述(去了加州你就知道这里中国人是那么的多了。。。)，也不要

觉得中国是发展中国家，然后想当然的说自己来自遥远偏僻的农村，小时候生活多么艰苦，一路奋斗上来为出发点，因为你永远都不知道你的竞争对手背景有多惨，有人可能是卢旺达种族屠杀的难民；有人可能是从朝鲜出来的；更多的人可能是从墨西哥爬墙来美国的西班牙裔后代。。。如果没有特别惨(当然你可以说，我是汶川大地震的幸存者，然后这样的人有多么少，我是如何努力的，我今后来受教育是为了其他的幸存者。。。) 。

大多数人diversity这个内容都不大好写(因为中国人来美国留学的已经很多很多了，即使在Berkeley都很多)，那么就想办法把diversity引入到Broader Impact上来。美国

的教育理念最重要的一条就是培养学生成为一个合格的公民(Elementary School就有公

民课)。不仅仅是读书好就行(美国人用一个略带贬义的词：geek来称呼这些人)，不仅仅是很聪明就ok，合格的学生应该还具有一定的价值观，一定的责任感等等。

在这个部分，最重要就是说明自己希望或者能够在读书期间对于学校以周边同学/社区带来点什么，更重要的是说明毕业后有什么规划，将发挥怎么样的影响力。美国的一些顶尖大学，大多数是私立的，然后去读书还不收一部分学生的钱，甚至倒贴钱(全额奖学金)，主要的资金来源是捐赠。只有相当一部分学生能够在社会发挥重要的影响力，才能不断扩大学校的知名度，也才有捐赠资金继续办学。于是这里大家就可以发挥了。有人说，我没有什么特别的经历呀，只是去过敬老院做过一段时间义工能不能写？当然能。但是最终是否决定把这个经历写到申请的文书里头，需要多方面考量。首先是这个经历需要跟撰写这篇文书的目的(―给我offer吧‖)相一致，而是否给offer的最重要的标准是

―Match‖。比如如果申请的是social work(社会工作)专业，那么这个经历就是非常Mat

ch了，如果再有出彩的表现和相关的想法并带上对于个人未来所走到路的选择和规划，再加上一封合适的推荐信映衬，那简直就是一个成功的在我推销案例；有同学说，那么我是学商科的呢？如果一定要写这个实例，那么可以写：我在去敬老院干活的过程发现，老年人对于理财的需求是什么样子的，我们社会的养老保险和理财方面有哪些不足，如何通过一些金融和商业的创新(于是结合说我为什么去读MSF/MFE专业呀。。blabla)，引入商业的力量来让老年人的晚年在财务上更加省心；如果是学机械工程(ME)的，可以写我去敬老院修了很多老年人的轮椅，发现轮椅哪些地方有不足，哪些领域的突破能改变这种状况(找个领域跟自己申请相关的)，我要来读书是为了实现这些技术，从而今后为老年人制造更好的轮椅云云。话说回来，吃饭吃了这么多年了，总归经历很丰富(觉得

不丰富的童鞋，是因为你没有好好挖掘自己？)，到底这里写哪个经历能够更好的让这篇文书为自己申请加分，是需要仔细考虑的地方。往往写的好的文章，都是将几个部分(我有什么经历，经历体现我什么背景/素质/能力，这些能力对于我今后来读书。。。我读

书之后的success是guaranteed，而我的success不仅是我个人的，而是我促进了我们的community向着更加平等，自由的方向发展)结合的好的，让人读了泪流满面的那种，就好象卢旺达难民在叙述他们的diversity时让人内牛满面一样。

同样地，美国文化也格外注重leadership。这些需要强调的是，美国人的leadership不是―做官‖，而是需要一个人有vision，有commitment来推动实现这个vision，并懂得

与他人合作，让人感受到你既可以领导众人又可以分工合作。有不少中国学生写的ps都说自己有leadership，理由是，我是班长，我是某学校社团老大，我获得过上海市优秀学生干部的奖励等等，于是想当然的就以为美国人看了就会觉得自己有leadership，其实这里面还有蛮多误差。

为什么这些学校还需要这样一个文书作为必须的申请材料呢？我想，问diversity, leadership以及broader impact等等的目的，应该是学校希望看到你是一个怎么样的"人"，你希望成为怎么样的人，而这些是其他材料所不能或者不能完全反映的。当然有人说，这个材料不重要，所以写个文章应付一下就好，呵呵，这个就见仁见智了。

总而言之，就是要强调你可以增加diversity，有想法，有leadership，让读这篇文章的

教授们个个看了热血沸腾，把你直接放到must admit list里面最好，呵呵。不过或许在撰写和修改这篇文书的过程中，你对为什么去读graduate school，为什么去美国留学等

等都会有一些更加深入的思考。

祝大家申请一切顺利

How to Write a Personal Statement 个人陈述

Written by Administrator

Friday, 10 September 2010 00:32

Through a personal statement, you introduce yourself to the university; it reflects your personality and intellect. It is important that you read each question carefully and make every effort to understand and respond to it with well-considered responses and in a persuasive enough manner to hold the reader’s interest.

1. Understand and Explain Yourself

One of the main problems when writing is that applicants fail to take a thorough and analytical look at themselves and their objectives. Admission committee members are looking for interesting, insightful, revealing, and non-generic essays that suggest you have successfully gone through a process of careful reflection and self-examination.

2. Set Yourself Apart

Committees are looking for something PERSONAL and ANAL YTICAL. This means sharing information you rarely share with others and assessing your life more critically than usual. This approach is key to a successful personal statement.

Exercise: In order to begin writing your personal statement – your story—you’ll need to answer some basic questions to prepare yourself.

Questions:

?What is special, unique, distinctive, o r impressive about you or your life story? What details of your life (personal or family problems/ history, any genuinely notable accomplishments, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?

?When did you originally become interested in this field and what have you since learned about it—and about yourself—that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction

that you are well s uited to this field? This does not mean that you should write, ―Why I want to be a lawyer.‖ Instead, tell what insights you have gained from certain experiences that reinforce your decision to go to law school

?How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, internships, or conversations with people already in the field.

?If work experiences have consumed significant periods of time during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has the work contributed to your personal growth?

?What are your career goals?

?Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades and mediocre LSAT scores, for example, or a distinct improvement in you GRA if it was only average in the beginning?

?Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (e.g., economic, familial, physical) in your life?

?What personal characteristic (integrity, compassion, persistence, for e xample) do you possess that would enhance your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?

?What skills (leadership, communicative, analytical, for example) do you possess?

?Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field—than other applicants?

?What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

Tell a Story

Be truthful and stick to the facts; yet, think of your personal statement in the terms of writing a story. You want to write something that is fresh, lively, and different, to put yourself ahead of the other applicants. A personal statement MUST be MEMORABLE. One of the worst things you can do with your personal statement is to bore the admissions committee, yet that is exactly what most applicants do. Review your life very carefully (get help from family or friends if necessary) for facets or experiences that reveal an unusual dimension related to your professional goals or that could serve as evidence of your suitability for being a lawyer.

Find an Angle

If you are like most people, your life story might well lack significant drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle is vital. Brainstorm for ideas that emphasize your exceptional qualities, goals, past performances.

Concentrate on Your Opening Paragraph

Keep in mind when composing your statement that the lead or OPENING PARAGRAPH IS generally the MOST IMPORTANT. Here you either GRAB the readers attention or lose it. If you are telling a story you will use this first paragraph to introduce the elements most relevant to that story—and the ones that will hold greatest interest for the reader.

Tell Who You Are

The committee needs to get a sense of who you are, what makes you tick, and how you are

different from other applicants. They should be interested in you, eager to hear more, impressed that

what you are saying to them is not what they have read a thousand times before.

Sometimes a personal statement can be perfectly well written in terms of language and grammar, but disastrous in lacking punch or impact and in being totally off the mark concerning what it chooses to present about the applicant. Remember, what is most important about your personal statement is what you say and how you say it! Be selective about what you tell the admissions committee.

What you choose to say in your statement is, again, very much a reflection of you, because it shows the committee what your priorities are, what you consider to be important. The personal statement is often an indication, too, of your judgment, so be careful and give a great deal of thought to what you write. Think about yourself, your background, and your experiences and abilities to develop a strategy.

Other Things To Consider

?Determine what you would tell an admission committee member if you had five minutes to answer the question ―What is most important for us to know about you?‖ This exercise will force you to do the type of thinking that must precede the preparation of an effective personal statement. ?Do not make the mistake of trying to guess what the admissions committee is looking for, and do not just write what you think the committee wants to hear. Such ploys are highly obvious to admissions people and can be detrimental to your cause.

?Be selective. Don’t introduce inappropriate material or get into so much detail that your judgment can be called into question.

?Try to maintain a positive and upbeat tone. Overall, you want to project confidence and enthusiasm.

?Be specific when appropriate and use details.

?Adhere to stated word limits. Do not give them reason to toss your application packet

?Be meticulous (type and proof read your essay carefully and have others read it too).

?If a school wants to know why you are applying to it rather than another school, do a bit of research if necessary to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

?Are you providing something more than a recitation of information available elsewhere in the application? Do not repeat information that you have already included in other documents.

?Are you avoiding obvious clichés? For example, a medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought.