大学英语写作高分训练

大学英语写作高分训练

Cathy 大学英语考试教学已经进行了20多年，写作被放到了极其重要的位置。但是，大批高校学生在写作方面仍然面临着种种问题，比如词汇量有限、逻辑思维不严谨、结构布局混乱、英文表达苍白以及中式语言思维等问题。英语高分作文的奥秘何在？我们充分研究写作的基本技术和应试的要略并结合多年的阅卷经验，为考生推荐以下高分训练方法。

1、紧扣主题，构思简单（写什么）

英语考试一直在朝标准化客观化努力，因此英语作文部分是一种控制性写作(Controlled Writing)，往往会给出一个三点或是两点的提纲，考查的目标不是考生的思维水平或逻辑分析能力，而是考核语言表达能力。所以建议采取的措施是，简化自己的思维和分析。也就是，如何降低自己的思维水平，来迎合自己有限的语言状况。

误区一：抓笔就写，意识流，折磨阅卷老师

误区二：做深思状，掏心掏肺，其结果只是让阅卷老师无比郁闷

误区三：思想贫乏，无话可说

2004年作文题：Is Pressure a Bad Thing?

1：许多人害怕压力。

2：但是压力并不一定是坏事情。

3：如何应付压力。

2003年作文题：Shortage of Fresh Water.

1：人们以为淡水是取之不尽的。

2：实际上水是非常紧张的。

3：我们应该采取什么方法来解决这个问题。

2003年统考作文题：

目前，大学生找工作不容易。许多人呼吁老师减少传统课程，多开设一些注重培养学生实际能力的课程。谈谈你对此事的看法。2003年统考作文题：Organization Saves Time and Energy

1：学习和工作负担十分繁重。

2：如何采取措施应付这种情况。

3：合理安排时间可以提高工作效率。

综合以上分析，我们总结出审题过程中要注意的三个层面：

主题层面：文章要围绕着什么去论述？什么内容是本文的核心话题？

拓展层面：如何展开文章打通思路？题目需要我们朝哪些环节深入？

道德层面：逻辑上符合不等于道德上符合，命题者要求的思维一定具有积极健康道德的元素，立场应当尽量符合命题人的态度。

2、结构合理，框架意识（如何写）

英语写作，特别是入学考试的写作，基本属于控制命题模式。除了主题被限定以外，每一段的内容也被命题人所限定，所以考生需要做的就是按照固定模式创作。段落篇章写作就是topic sentence加上supporting detail。

1）topic sentence

国有其君，家有其主，文章也要有其主。否则会给人造成“群龙无首”之感！相信各位读过一些破烂文学，故意把主体隐藏在文章之内，结果造成我们稀里糊涂！不知所云！所以奉劝各位一定要写一个主题句，放在文章的开头（保险型）或者结尾，让读者一目了然，必会平安无事！如：

People can avoid catching a cold by taking certain precautions.

The harmfulness of examination-oriented education should not be neglected.

It is high time to take firm steps to put an end to the unhealthy trend of fake commodity.

一个有效的主题句必须包含两个要素：topic和controlling idea。例如：

People give many reasons for owning a car.

主题是“owning a car”，核心内容则是“reason”，接下来所有这一段的内容都应该围绕“reasons for owning a car”来展开。最常见的写主题句的表达有：

the reasons (causes, factors ) for the steps for (the procedure for )

the advantages of (the disadvantages of ) the ways to (the methods of )

the different sections (parts, kinds, types ) of the characteristics (traits, qualities ) of

the problems of the precautions for

Practice:

Your topic sentence should tell the reader what the paragraph is about. Read the following paragraph and decide whether the topic sentence is strong or weak. If it is a weak sentence, please replace it with a strong one.

Baseball is a popular sport in the United States. There are two teams of nine players each. Players on one team take turns batting, and the other team tries to put the batters out. The batter hits the ball and then tries to run around the bases and get “home” safel y. The other team tries to put the batter out by catching the ball before it hits the ground, throwing the ball to the base before the batter gets there or by tagging the batter with the ball. The batter can stop at any one of the three bases if it is impossible to make it “home”.

Even though the procedures followed to enroll in an American university vary according to each university, some steps are the same. First, you should contact the registration office to get the necessary forms and information concerning the entrance requirements. Then you must follow the steps outlined in their response. You will probably have to send copies of your high school diploma, get letters of recommendation, and write an essay on why you want to study there. You may have to achieve a certain score on the TOEFL test and have your scores forwarded to the university. Finally, you will have to contact the American embassy to start the procedures to obtain a student visa.

I like to go to the beach whenever I have the opportunity. I start the day by enjoying a refreshing swim. Then I walk along the beach and collect shells. Later you’ll find me relaxing in the warm sunshine and making sand castles. Then I sleep for a while before I open the basket of food and drinks that I always pack to take.

Many students cannot afford a car. The city bus services usually passes the university, so those students can get to class on the bus. Many universities have a special shuttle bus that is provided for student transportation. Some students like to ride to class on bicycles. This is good exercises. Also, it is easier to find a space to leave a bicycle than to find a parking space for a car on a crowded university campus. Those students who live close to campus or on campus can enjoy a leisurely walk to their classes.

Writing controlling ideas

1. . A classroom can give us only limited kinds of information. If we look at the beginning of civilization, for example, we will note that people back then did not have formal classrooms, yet many of them were well informed. There were no classrooms to teach the first men how to plant or how to build huts. The great early poets of the first and second centuries didn’t learn their poems in a clas sroom, nor did the women find out how to sew their clothes there.

2. . Sports can make us strong, prevent us from getting too fat, and keep us healthy. Especially they can be of great value to people who work with their brains most of the day, for sports and games give people valuable practice in exercising the body.

3. . “ All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, just as the saying goes. So persons of all ages enjoy watching and taking part in various kinds of sports — tack and field, skating, swimming, volleyball, basketball, football, etc.

4. . Sports demand not only physical skill and strength but also courage, enthusiasm, discipline and usually teamwork. For boys and girls, what is learned in the playground often has a deep effect on their character. If each of them learns to work for his team and not for himself on the football field, he will later find it natural to work for the good of his country instead of only for his own benefit.

写主题句保险的方法就是把中文提纲的各句译成英语。

Nowadays, with the advancement of modern life, a growing number of people are complaining about the fact that they are confronted with more and more burden from work as well as study.

The life pace is becoming faster and faster, so it is necessary for us to know how to deal with it.

It cannot be denied that time organization can improve efficiency.

如果要求句是英语就可以把它变成主题句，例如这样一篇作文：

Importance of good health

Ways to keep fit

My own practice

这样的作文的要求句就可以扩充成主题句。扩充后三段的主题句分别为：

It is very important to have good health .（将名词importance变成形容词important）

There are four ways to keep fit for me .（用there be 句型）

My own practices are the following .（采用原词）

Practice: Write a topic sentence for each of the following topics which should includes the topic and the controlling idea.

1.Internet Energy crisis

2.Dink family Self-confidence

3.Job interview Overseas study

2）supporting detail

除了主题阐释之外，还进一步要求作者要列举充分的论据和细节,作文一定要言之有物.可阐述原因，或给出三个例子或三个相关的方面，论述才能达到丰满的境界。一般而言，我们可以通过列举法、举例法、对比（比较法）和因果分析法来拓展中段。头脑风暴练习——每天关注一条国内时事新闻，或是校园、街头观察到的特殊社会现象，并且开始联想背后所隐藏的三个原因。如果只想到一至两点还不够，想到三点就获得了真正的思维成功。

People can avoid catching a cold by taking certain precautions.

a.Avoid people with colds

b.Get plenty of sleep

c.Take vitamin C

The harmfulness of examination-oriented education should not be neglected.

a.Not effective way to learn about students

b.Learns for score instead of knowledge

金字塔式的逻辑结构

文章结构：中心议题——塔尖 A

若干个分论点——塔身 A A A

各分论点的具体论证——塔尖AAA AAA AAA

出题规则：设置文章理解障碍——在文章当中插入复杂句式和难词

设计干扰选项

3) developing a paragraph

People can avoid a cold by taking certain precautions. Perhaps the most important precaution is to avoid people who already have colds so that you are not exposed to cold germs. You should also get plenty of sleep so that your resistance is strong. Finally, vitamin C supplement will ensure you are strong enough to fight against catching a cold.

领导讲话总是第一部分、第一点、第二点、第三点、第二部分、第一点… 如此罗嗦,可毕竟还是条理清楚。这些关键性的“标签”来判定你的文章是否结构清楚，条理自然。破解方法很简单，只要把下面任何一组的词汇加入到你的几个要点前就清楚了。

1）first, second, third, last（不推荐，原因：俗）

2）firstly, secondly, thirdly, finally（不推荐，原因：俗）

3）the first, the second, the third, the last（不推荐，原因：俗）

4）in the first place, in the second place, in the third place, lastly（不推荐，原因：俗）

5）to begin with, then, furthermore, finally（强烈推荐）

6）to start with, next, in addition, finally（强烈推荐）

7）first and foremost, besides, last but not least（强烈推荐）

8）most important of all, moreover, finally

9）on the one hand, on the other hand（适用于两点的情况）

10）for one thing, for another thing（适用于两点的情况）

建议：不仅仅在写作中注意，平时说话的时候也应该条理清楚！

常见的连接词和过渡词能表征上下文内在逻辑关系：

1 前后意思一致：in other words, that is to say, namely, this means…, likewise,

2 并列平行：and, or, also, too, besides, another, in addition

3 递进：in addition to, adding to, moreover, furthermore, what’s more

4 强对比：unlike, differ from, on the other hand, on the contrary, conversely

5 强转折：but, yet, however, in fact, practically, virtually, indeed

6 让步：（al）though, despite, in spite of, while

7 因果：because, why, reason, and, due to, owing to, thus, by, since, consequence, as, for, because, for one thing… for another, so, thus, therefore, consequently, as a result

8 重要性：the most, chiefly, prime, have much to do with, I submit,

9 指代关系：it, this, that, those, these, one, so

10例证：for instance, for example, take …as an example

sample: People can avoid a cold by taking certain precautions. Perhaps the most important precaution is to avoid people who already have colds so that you are not exposed to cold germs. You should also get plenty of sleep so that your resistance is strong. Finally, vitamin C supplement will ensure you are strong enough to fight against catching a cold.

常见的框架模式：

对立观点模式；利弊分析模式；原因建议模式；例证模式；时间地点模式；多种组合模式

3、包装语言，提升层次（得高分）

言之无文，行而不远。语言作为评分原则中的基本要素之一，在四六级作文评分的整个过程中具有决定性作用。有评分老师甚至断言：“It is not what you say, it is the way that you say it.”（重要的并不在于考生写了些什么，而在于考生是怎么表达的。）虽然这种说法本身似乎有失偏颇，可是参加过国际标准化英语考试的同学应该也听说过那么一句话，叫做：“Giv e the monkey exactly what he wants.”（给阅卷老师最想要的。）考生还能在语言的细节上下一些功夫，作文的分数就会更上一层楼，所以语言要包装。英语作文的测试重点是考生的语言能力，因而在语言细节上下一点功夫就可以让考生展示自己的语言修养。

低档次：语言支离破碎、错误百出

中档次：语言中规中矩，错误不多但平淡乏味

高档次：语言精雕细刻、变化多端、妙语连珠

1）正确表达：简洁纯正

人山人海people mountain people sea (huge crowd of people)；

好好学习，天天向上good good studay day day up (improve yourself everyday)

Practice:

1.The living level of the people in China has been greatly raised.

2.Traffic is a serious problem, and one of the reasons is that Shanghai has over ten million people.

3.My handwriting has made great progress.

4.With the improved design of advertisements, people’s interest in them has become more and more.

5.The cause of the accident was due to the uncareful driving.

https://www.sodocs.net/doc/9614962628.html,st Sunday my flat was stolen.

7. In my opinion, I think the owner is justified to do so.

8. We should study as much knowledge as possible so that we can be fully prepared for the future.

9. The living style has become more and more popular and accepted by more and more people.

10. It is time for us to revise educational system and then provide it to our society.

11. If we are watching too much TV, our reading ability will be seriously affected.

12. The society should take measures immediately to prevent pollution.

2）闪光词汇：丰富生动

在众多平庸的作文中，我们可能只用了一两个精彩表达就给考官留下了深刻的印象。一般来说，我们在四个方面可以做出努力。首先单词的应用应当准确到位（accuracy），各类表达中使用地道的搭配。如：

广博的的知识：extensive knowledge 优雅的手势：graceful gesture 订阅杂志：subscribe to a magazine

通过论文答辩：succeed in passing the thesis defense 参加课外活动：participate in extracurricular activities

另外，单词要有一定难度(difficulty)，我们尽量把简单的表达替换成复杂的书面语表达。如主要的原因：main reasons。“主要的”可替换为：primary, essential, crucial, indispensable, fundamental。当然，单词的应用应当充满变化(variety)，在同一篇作文中我们尽量使用不同的表达来替换。丰富多变的用词是文章最大的亮点，如：“如：“求职者”，可用说job hunter, candidate, applicant, perspective employee等等。另外，写作中还要讲究用词是否生动精彩（vividness），平淡的语言可以替换为栩栩如生的表达。

如今，虽然人们的寿命都有所延长，但每一天，在这个地球上仍然有相当数量的人同时死去。昨天，A国的国王死了。B国的宰相死了。C国的人民英雄死了。D国因为贫穷，许多婴儿在出生前就死了。E国的年轻科学家死了。F国的劳动模范在工作中死了。G国一位位文化作出杰出贡献的高僧死了。H国的XX恐怖分子死了。……

我们且以good为例：

使：The society still makes women unable to enjoy equal rights. ——Women are still denied equal rights.

越来越：More and more people realize that English is more and more important. —Students in growing number … increasingly..

More and more teenagers smoke cigarettes in recent years. —Teenager smoking is on the rise in recent years.

More and more teachers are demanded with the development of economy. —There is an increasing demand for teacher ….

不仅. .而且: The factors for more and more teenagers’ smoking are not only social but also psychological.

The factors for a rise in teenager smoking are psychological as well as social.

Old people go to the park not only to do exercises but also to make friends.—Old people go to park for companionship as much as for ….

3）句型选择：复杂多变

写好句子是提高写作水平的关键性步骤。衡量句子的标准多种多样，主要有：统一(unity)、强调(emphasis)、连贯(coherence)。

1) 统一(unity)

e.g. Born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.

Modified: He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s. In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory. In the 70s he became a famous musician.

(1) 句子的主语要一致

e.g. Birds have a special protective device, the approach of cold weather can be sensed, they fly south, and we know that winter is near.

Modified: Birds have a special protective device, they can sense the approach of cold weather, so when they fly south, we know that winter in near.

e.g. The vessel made for the shore, and the passengers soon crowded into the boats, and the beach was reached in safely, where the inhabitants of the island received them with utmost kindness.

Improved: The vessel having made for the shore, the passengers soon crowded into the boats and safely reached the beach, where they were received with the utmost kindness by the inhabitants of the island.

(2) 完整性

e.g. The medicine which has ruined his health. Improved: The medicine which has ruined his health has been discovered.

e.g. In terms of the news report, raining heavily in some countries.

Improved: In terms of the news report, it is raining heavily in some countries.

e.g. In extensive reading, our main purpose is not to learn new structures and vocabulary. But to understand as quickly and completely as possible the ideas being communicated.

improved. In extensive reading, our purpose is not to learn new structures and vocabulary, but to understand as quickly and completely as possible the ideas being communicated.

（3）逻辑性

e.g. We were coming to see you, and it rained. Modified: We were coming to see you, but it rained

e.g. Although the surgeon had not watched the patient closely, she would have died.

Modified: If the surgeon had not watched the patient closely, she would have died.

2.强调(emphasis)

所谓强调，就是把最重要的词语和要表达的最重要的思想放在最引人注目的地方。

e.g. The students were waiting for the class to begin. They talked with one another. They talked about their English teacher. She had just got married. (While waiting for the class to begin, the students talked with one another about their English teacher who had just married.)

e.g. We are making great efforts to improve our English. (Great efforts are being made to improve our English.)

e.g. Whenever you pick up a newspaper, you will always find advertisement. (It is impossible to pick up a newspaper without finding advertisement. )

3. 连贯(coherence)

句子的连贯性是指句子各部分之间关系清楚和谐，它不仅包括思想内容上的和谐，同时还包括用词的和谐。

(1) 平行结构的使用

e.g. A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds. ( what he does)

e.g. We have great faith and high hope for her.( great faith in and high hope for her)

e.g. Before I selected the new courses, my teacher warned me of the difficulty of the course and how long it lasted. (the length)

e.g. It’s raining. I didn’t bring an umbrella with me. I was all wet. (It’s raining, but I didn’t bring an umbrella with me. So I was all wet.)

(2) 指代要明确

e.g. He was knocked down by a bicycle, but it was not serious. ( He was knocked down by a bicycle, but was not badly hurt.)

e.g. I’m going to the lecture on modern Chinese drama, because he is a dramatist I like. ( … because the speaker is a dramatist I like.)

4. 句子结构的多样化

(a) The old man began to tell us the story of his life. He was fifteen. He ran away to sea. He traveled to South America, China and Australia. Then he was too old to work. He came to this country to live with relatives. Now he thinks all the time about the “good old days.” he was young then.

(b) The old man began to tell us the story of his life, and he started with the age of fifteen. He ran away to sea at that age, and he traveled to South America, China, and Australia. He became too old to work. And he came to this country to live with relatives. Now he thinks all the time about the “good old days” and he was young then.

句型的变化

1、应该简练，且句型变化。

Teenagers are pressured by school work. They also encouraged by their peers. Under such circumstances, they resort to smoking. But sometimes they feel a little guilty.

Pressured by school work and encouraged by their peers, teenagers often resort to smoking though they feel a little guilty sometimes.

I am in favor of equal rights for women. I think women should especially have the right to compete with men for jobs on equal terms. They should get the same pay as men for the same job. They should also have equal opportunities for promotion.

I am in favor of equal rights for women, especially the right to compete with men for jobs on equal terms, the right to get the same pay as men for the same job, and the right to equal opportunities for promotion.

Practice:

Some people make efforts to do something. But they fail. They are frustrated and discouraged. So they give up their attempt. Those people will never succeed. Actually failure is quite natural. Sometimes it is necessary on the road to success.

The nationwide controversy over the current reforms will test the courage of our people. Through the controversy we can see the determination of our government.

2、不要总是以人称代词或有生命的名词开头。

Many people think family planning is quiet necessary in China. (It is widely/commonly tho ught/believed/held/accepted ….)

More and more people agree/ realize/ are aware that women should enjoy full equality with men.

There is a growing agreement/realization/awareness that …

Many Chinese people have gone to the United States in the past 15 years.

The past 15 years have brought many Chinese people to the United States.

We almost forget this event. （This event is now almost fading from our memory. ）

Practice:

Students should certainly make continuous efforts.

We easily drew the conclusion through the investigation.

Great economic and social transformation has taken place in the 20th century.

3、不要千篇一律地使用主动语态，学会多用被动语态

We are making great efforts to improve our English.

Great efforts are being made to improve our English.

We know very little about the nature of human beings.

Little is known about the nature of human beings.

Because of social demands, there appear many evening schools.

Many evening schools are called into existence by social demands.

We may think more of the elderly who live apart from their children.

More thought may be given to the elderly who live apart from their children.

Practice:

人人都知道应该在中国提倡素质教育而不是应试教育。

我们应该立即采取措施来解决人口爆炸的问题。应该给予穷人更多的关心。

4、不要总是用if, because, when 等口语意味重的句子，要尽量使用书面语

If you compare bicycle with cars carefully, you will find bicycles are superior to cars.

Careful comparison of bicycles with cars will show the superiority of the former over the latter.

If we only apply book knowledge, we will not get good results.

The application of book knowledge alone won’t bring you goo d results.

If we can better understand the greater pressure of population growth, we will have a correct attitude towards family planning.

A better understanding of the greater pressure of population growth is essential to a correct attitude towards family planning.

When a woman sees that she is going to be laid off, she begins to worry all day and night.

The mere prospect of lay-off would set a woman to worry all day and night.

When our teacher had left, the heated discussion then ended.

The departure of our teacher brought the heated discussion to an end.

Practice:

Because we cannot apply book knowledge to practice, we cannot handle real problems in society.

Because the decision recognizes the rights of students, so they all welcome it.

If we don’t recogni ze the serious problems of growing population, we will make a great mistake.

5、不要对动词过分依赖，要学会用名词结构来表达

The style of living has become more and more popular and accepted by more and more people.

The style of living has found its growing popularity and acceptance among young people.

It is time for us to revise educational system and then provide it to our society.

It is time for us to provide our society a revised educational system.

If we are watching too much TV, our reading ability will be seriously affected.

Heavy exposure to TV will exert an negative effect on our reading ability.

Fireworks are very important to our festivals and celebrations.

Fireworks are of great importance to our festivals and celebrations.

If we compare the two forms of transport, we will find riding bicycles is much more convenient.

Careful comparison of the two forms of transport will show that riding bicycles is much more convenient.

After the teacher had left, the heated discussion then ended.

The departure of the teacher brought the heated discussion to an end.

If we don’t recognize the seriousness of the problem, we will make a big mistake.

Failure to recognize the seriousness of the problem will lead us to a big mistake.

Practice:

如果我们能够更好地理解经济改革带来的影响，我们就会支持此项政策。

因为人类总是不能互相理解，所以人们总是陷入仇恨和战争。

一旦人们意识到知识所带来的好处，他们才会真正明白知识就是力量这句名言

6、不要总是用肯定句来表达，学会用否定

Every young boy and girl wants to earn a little money to help cover higher college cost.

There is hardly a young boy and girl who doesn’t want to earn a little money to help cover higher colle ge cost.

Whenever you pick up a newspaper, you will always find advertisement.

It is impossible to pick up a newspaper without finding advertisement.

Practice:

Gathering around an listening to mother or father read a good story is the best pastimes to bring a family closer together.

Food is the most basic issue to individual and national survival. You will acquire a lot of valuable experience when you contact the society.

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