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2014年1月9日雅思A类大作文范文

2014年1月9日雅思A类大作文范文
2014年1月9日雅思A类大作文范文

2014年1月9日雅思A类大作文范文2014年1月9日雅思A类大作文范文

——来自环球雅思张嵩老师

题目:The best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide free public transportation 24 hours a day 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

(Word count=299 words)

范文:

“Getting somewhere” is a concept—despite its original meaning of “succeeding in something”—that plagues the general public around the world. To cope with the ever-deteriorating traffic, governments are believed to be able to help by providing free public transport around the clock.This essay disapprove of the practicality and validity in the practice.

It is admittedly true that public transport is certainly appealing, especially when it is offered for free and 24/7. With no fees incurred, most if not all commuters will favour public transport regardless of such downsides as relatively prolonged trip and less comfortable experience. Also,should passengers choose public transport, their road safety would be enhanced for the insurance attached to their fare and when they travel at an

inconvenient/late hour.

However, it is impractical to implement all-day free public transport service. The first and most obvious obstacle is finance. Most countries are operating public transportation system as a public service with governmental subsidy, and thus free public transport might be financially impossible. Moreover,

all-day public transport is theoretically redundant and with few precedents, and the need for that is little to none.

To further the argument, the measure in the topic lacks rationale. Apparently, an ever-growing population will most likely incurs more traffic, and in that sense, population control instead of free transport would be the key. More profoundly, reasons for ever-heavier traffic are urbanisation and city

planning. With the influx of population, cities are forced to expand in area and accordingly traffic mounts. Also, civil planning without a vision adds to traffic problems—trips to places with congested traffic around are sometimes unavoidable.

In sum, free and all-day public transport service is not the cure to congested traffic because it is not financially feasible and does not address the issues behind the problem.

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●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项:TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识: 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图,都要提一下。此后可加一句:In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充:在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结,这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词:To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据,这里改为:for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句,建议写出来具体的量词至少:The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了,可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像,是时间长短像,改为:which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5(TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0) 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了,分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装,如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以,试着多换换题目话题词汇,如people=residents=citizens

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