6分雅思大作文范文

批改By Amber

本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。ILETS大作文评分项：TR (论证扣题度), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。

作文题目

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

学生原文

Nowadays, people are more likely to move to cities due to the fact that they believe that city life is much better than rural’s in terms of daily-life facilities. For example, convenient transports and advanced health services. However numerous problems caused by inadapting to city life are evident among people in particular less well educated ones.

It is true that developed cities give people a great chance to enjoy a better life in material ways and this cannot be reached in backward countrysides such as shopping at departments and entertaining in theme parks. It seems reasonable that people are in favor of migrating to metropolises. However, I think they have ignored some potential side effects of this act. One issue is that people might have difficulty in adapting to urban life. In other words, people who are used to live in tranquil and relaxing places might be reluctant to adjust their lifestyles in noisy and congested urban areas. Elders and children, for instance, are prefer to live in spacious suburb areas. From another perspective, city life is teeming with a wide variety of pollution such as smog, acid rain and noise pollution . Therefore, citizens are more likely to suffer from respiratory diseases. Moreover, it is quite common these days that citizens are easily to get stress and anxiety through frequent traffic congestion and that is apparently not recommendable for a healthy lifestyle. As a result, the living situation in cities could be relative harsh to some extent.

The possible solutions are always under discussion at both personal and government level. Some people suggested that government ought to check the amount of polluted discharged and force companies to process the effluent in order to reduce the pollution. Another effective measure is that governments should offer financial assistance to economically disadvatanged ones and provide various types of community activities. That can help citizens to relieve negative moods and encouraging them to slowdown their life pace. What is more, families' concerns should be proposed in particular for elderly and youth who are have difficulty in fit modern life.

Despite some disadvantages of city life including pollution, congestion and rapid life pace, its contribution to enrich our lifestyle diversity cannot be denied and it is important to take full advantage of it by introducing strict regulations to restrict the pollutants emission.

文中标识：

用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加

Nowadays, people are more likely to move to cities due (意思不恰当，多为贬义，改为owing) to the fact that they believe that city life is much better than rural’s （词性不对，这是形容词，改为the one in rural areas） in terms of daily-life facilities. For example, convenient transports and advanced health services. （这不是一个句子，知识短语，应该跟前面一句合并，改为…facilities including convenient transportation and advanced health care system）However numerous problems caused by inadapting the attempt to adapt to city life are evident among people in particular less well educated ones.

It is true that developed cities give people a great chance to enjoy a better life in material ways and this cannot be reached in backward countrysides countryside such as shopping at departments and or entertaining in theme parks. It seems reasonable that people are in favor of migrating to metropolises. However, I think they have ignored some potential side effects of this act. One issue is that people might have difficulty in adapting to urban life. In other words, people who are used to live in tranquil and relaxing places might be reluctant to adjust their lifestyles in noisy and congested urban areas. Elders and children, for instance, are (没有be动词加动词原形) prefer to live in spacious suburb areas. From another perspective, city life is teeming with a wide variety of pollution such as smog, acid rain and noise pollution. Therefore, citizens are more likely to suffer from respiratory diseases. Moreover, it is quite common these days that citizens are easily to get stress and anxiety （副词不能修饰介词短语，改为stressed）through （改为due to）frequent traffic congestion and that is apparently not recommendable for a healthy lifestyle. As a result, the living situation in cities could be relative ly （副词才能修饰形容词）harsh to some extent.

The possible solutions are always under discussion at both personal and government al level. Some people suggest ed（没必要过去式啊，难道现在这些人没有建议了吗？）that government ought to check the amount of polluted discharged and force companies to process the effluent in order to reduce the （去掉）pollution. Another effective measure is that governments should（for the government to）offer financial assistance to economically disadvatanged (disadvantaged) ones and provide various types of community activities. That can help citizens to relieve negative moods and encouraging (encourage) them to slowdown slow their life pace. What is more, families' concerns should be proposed in particular for elderly and youth who are (同前面一样，be不能加动词原形) have difficulty in fit （adapting to）modern life.

Despite some disadvantages of city life including pollution, congestion and rapid life pace, its contribution to enrich our lifestyle diversity cannot be denied and it is important to take full advantage of it by introducing strict regulations to restrict the pollutants emission.

Band 6.0

TR 意思表达清楚，有回答题目的问题

CC 逻辑比较清晰，句子之间的衔接有待加强

LR 用词的精确性不够，但是比较多变

GRA 句型有做到多变，并且有用到一些不错的句型，但是be +verb这个错误非常严重总的来说写的挺不错的，特别是结尾段，语法错误改完之后可以上6.5甚至7以上

雅思6.5分 小作文范文参考

●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项：TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识： 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图，都要提一下。此后可加一句：In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充：在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结，这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词：To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据，这里改为：for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句，建议写出来具体的量词至少：The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了，可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像，是时间长短像，改为：which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5（TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0） 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了，分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装，如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以，试着多换换题目话题词汇，如people=residents=citizens

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101. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Test Tip Check the horizontal axis to find whether the graph refers to past, present, future or all three. We use the present simple to describe the graph: The graph shows… , We can see… If the graph refers to past period of time, we use the past simple, and if the graph includes future times, we use will or it is predicted that. Look at the line graph and complete the text with the correct forms of the verbs in brackets and the correct prepositions.

雅思写作范文100篇(完整资料).doc

【最新整理，下载后即可编辑】 范文的思路好了。这样好的东西，可惜不是我整理的，是一个叫landfish姑娘收集的，厉害！ v105 Some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages,do you ag ree or disagree? 范文1 The birth of cars has made an enormous change to our life. In the past, we travelled fro m one place to another only by foot, nowadays, cars can do the same job . It goes withou r saying that the invention of cars bring great benefits to all of us. but as an ancient prove rb goes, no garden without weeds. Car is no exception. Owing a car has a lot of advantages. For one thing, car provides us the most convenient wa y of transportation. we can get around freely without spenting a lot of time. Emotionally, I always found driving is so exciting. For another , it is comfortable to drive a car.in winte r.Drivers always can stay warm and dry even in rainy weather .In addition, drivers are saf er in their cars when they are out at night. While cars bring the human a large number of merits ,their side-effects gradually come t o the surface .Firstly, running a car needs a lot of oil,which is getting less and less.The incre asing number of cars contributes the lack of energy.Secondlly,as more and more cars are util zed,the traffic ecpecially in big cities is getting heaver and heavier,which leads to the seriou s traffic jam.Moreover,the inceasing numbers of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantitie s of carbon monoxide into atmosphere.It makes the air of cities unbreathable, it strips peop le’s contact with fresh air. Therefore, the new energy should be explored to replace the oil so that our envionmental p ollution can be avioded , and the strick law should be issued to keep the numbers of cars un der control. Thus, our heavier traffic can be solved!

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雅思作文范文大全

好的东西，和大家分享，看这个帖子的人肯定比较多，大家别冒险背诵，了解一下范文的思路好了。 v105 some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages,do you agre e or disagree? 范文1 the birth of cars have made an enormous change to our life.in the past,we travel from one pl ace to another only by foot,nowaday,cars can do it .its goes withour saying that the inventi on of cars bring great benefit to all of us.but as proverb goes:no garden without weeds.ca r is not exception. owing a car has a lot of advantages.for one thing,car provide us the most convient way of tr ansportation.we can get around freely without spenting a lot of time.emotionally,i always fo und driving is so exciting.for another,its the comfortable to drive a car.In winter.driver s always can stay warm and dry even in rainy whether,in addition,drivers are usually safe i n their cars when they are out at night. Cars bring the human merits,their side-effects graudually come to the surface.firstly,to ru n a car need a lot of oil,which is getting less and less.the increasing number of cars contr ibute the lacking of energy.secondlly,as more and more cars are used,the traffic ecpeciall y in big cities is getting heaver and heavier,which lead to the serious social problem--traf fic jam.in addition,the inceasing numbers of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantities of c arbon monoxide into atmosphere.it make the air of cities unbreathabe,it strip people contac t with frensh air. therefore,the new energy should be explored to replace the oil so that our envionmental poll ution can be avioded .and the strick law should be issued to keep the numbers of cars unde r control.thus,our heavier traffic can be solluted! 范文2 Private cars vs Public traffic As traffic problems become more and more serious in many cities of developed and developin g countries, their governments have to try hard and loads of money and energy have been spen t to deal with them. Firstly, it is not efficient for the commuters to use their private cars to and back from th eir workplaces. Occasionally we can see they have to sit on the wheels wasting time and fue

剑桥英语10雅思考官范文(大作文+小作文)

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剑10 1-2 It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? One important stage in a child’s growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is linked to the ability to tell right from wrong. This skill comes with time and good parenting, and my firm conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play in this. Therefore I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement. To some extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is being punished. Once the age of reason is reached however, a child can be rewarded for good behavior and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents. To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modelling in their own behavior. After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones-an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel.

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