Unit1
Americans believe no one stands still. If you are not moving ahead, you are falling behind. This attitude results in a nation of people committed to researching, experimenting and exploring. Time is one of the two elements that Americans save carefully, the other being labor.
"We are slaves to nothing but the clock,” it has been said. Time is treated as if it were something almost real. We budget it, save it, waste it, steal it, kill it, cut it, account for it; we also charge for it. It is a precious resource. Many people have a rather acute sense of the shortness of each lifetime. Once the sands have run out of a person’s hourglass, they cannot be replaced. We want every minute to count.
A foreigner’s first impression of the U.S. is li kely to be that everyone is in a rush -- often under pressure. City people always appear to be hurrying to get where they are going, restlessly seeking attention in a store, or elbowing others as they try to complete their shopping. Racing through daytime meals is part of the pace
of life in this country. Working time is considered precious. Others in public eating-places are waiting for you to finish so they, too, can be served and get back to work within the time allowed. You also find drivers will be abrupt and people will push past you. You will miss smiles, brief conversations, and small exchanges with strangers. Don’t take it personally. This is because people value time highly, and they resent someone else “wasting” it beyond a certain appropriate point.
Many new arrivals to the States will miss the opening exchanges of a business call, for example. They will miss the ritual interaction that goes with a welcoming cup of tea or coffee that may be a convention in their own country. They may miss leisurely business chats in a restaurant or coffee house.Normally, Americans do not assess their visitors in such relaxed surroundings over extended small talk; much less do they take them out for dinner, or for around on the golf course while they develop a sense of trust. Since we generally assess and probe professionally rather than socially, we start talking business very quickly. Time is, therefore,
always ticking in our inner ear.
Consequently, we work hard at the task of saving time. We produce a steady flow of labor-saving devices; we communicate rapidly through faxes, phone calls or emails rather than through personal contacts, which though pleasant, take longer -- especially given our traffic-filled streets. We, therefore, save most personal visiting for after-work hours or for social weekend gatherings.
To us the impersonality of electronic communication has little or no relation to the significance of the matter at hand. In some countries no major business is conducted without eye contact, requiring face-to-face conversation. In America, too, a final agreement will normally be signed in person. However, people are meeting increasingly on television screens, conducting “teleconferences” to settle problems not only in this country but also -- by satellite -- internationally.
The U. S. is definitely a telephone country. Almost everyone uses the telephone to conduct business, to chat with friends, to make or break social appointments, to say “Thank you,” to shop and to obtain all kinds of
information. Telephones save the feet and endless amounts of time. This is due partly to the fact that the telephone service is superb here, whereas the postal service is less efficient.
Some new arrivals will come from cultures where it is considered impolite to work too quickly. Unless a certain amount of time is allowed to elapse, it seems in their eyes as if the task being considered were insignificant, not worthy of proper respect. Assignments are, consequently, felt to be given added weight by the passage of time. In the U. S., however, it is taken as a sign of skillfulness or being competent to solve a problem, or fulfill a job successfully, with https://www.sodocs.net/doc/8312512212.html,ually, the more important a task is, the more capital, energy, and attention will be poured in to it in order to “get it moving.”
Unit2
Learning the Olympic Standard for Love
Nikolai Petrovich Anikin was not half as intimidating as I had imagine d he would be. No, this surely was not the ex-Soviet coach my father had shipped me out to
meet.
But Nikolai he was, Petrovich and all. He invited me inside and sat down on the couch, patting the blanket next to him to get me to sit next to him.
I was so nervous in his presence.
"You are young," he began in his Russian-style English. "If you like to t ry for Olympic Games, I guess you will be able to do this. Nagano Olymp ics too soon for you, but for 2002
in Salt Lake City, you could be ready."
"Yes, why not?" he replied to the shocked look on my face.
I was a promising
amateur skier, but by no means the top skier in the country. "Of course, th ere will be many hard training sessions, and you will cry, but you will im prove."
To be sure, there were countless training sessions full of pain and more th an a few tears,
but in the five years that followed
I could always count on being encouraged by Nikolai's
amusing stories and sense of humor.
"My friends, they go in the movies, they go in the dance, they go out wi th girls," he would start. "But I," he would continue, lowering his voice, "
I am practice, practice, practice in
the stadium. And by the next year, I had cut 1-1/2 minutes off my time in the
15-kilometer race!
"My friends asked me, 'Nikolai, how did you do it?' And I replied, 'You go in the movies, you go in the dance, you go out with girls, but I am prac tice, practice, practice.' "
Here the story usually ended, but on one occasion, which we later learn ed was his 25th wedding anniversary, he stood proudly in a worn woolen sweater and smiled and whispered, "And I tell you, I am 26 years old bef ore I ever kiss a girl! She was the woman I later marry."
Romantic and otherwise, Nikolai knew love.
His consistent good humor, quiet gratitude, perceptivity, and sincerity set an Olympic standard for love that I continue to reach for, even though my skiing days are over.
Still, he never babied me.
One February day I had a massive headache and felt quite
fatigued. I came upon him in a clearing, and after approximately 15 minut es of striding
into the cold breeze over the white powder to catch him, I fussed, "Oh, Ni kolai, I feel like I am going to die."
"When you are a hundred years old, everybody dies," he said, indifferen t to my pain.
"But now," he continued firmly. "Now must be ski, ski, ski." And, on s kis, I did what he said.
On other matters, though, I was rebellious.
Once, he packed 10 of us into a Finnish bachelor's tiny home for a low-bu dget ski camp. We awoke
the first morning to find Nikolai making breakfast and then made quick w ork with our spoons
while sitting on makeshift chairs around a tiny card table.
When we were finished, Nikolai
stacked the sticky bowls in front of my sole female teammate and me, ass erting, "Now, girls do dishes!"
I threw my napkin on the floor and swore at him,
"Ask the damn boys! This is unfair."
He never asked this of me again, nor did he take much notice of my outbu rst. He saved
his passion for skiing.
When coaching, he would sing out his instructions keeping rhythm with our stride: "Yes, yes, one-two-three, one-two-three." A dear lady friend o f my grandfather, after viewing a copy of a video of me training with Nik olai, asked, "Does he also teach dance?"
In training, I worked without rest to correct mistakes that Nikolai pointe d out and I asked after each pass if it was better.
"Yes, it's OK. But the faster knee down, the better." "But is it fast eno ugh?" I'd persist. Finally he would frown and say,
"Billion times you make motion—then be perfect,"
reminding me in an I've-told-you-a-billion-times tone, "You must be patie nt."
Nikolai's patience and my hard work earned me a fourth-place national ra nking heading
into the pre-Olympic season,
but then I missed the cut for the 2002 Olympics.
Last summer, I returned to visit Nikolai. He made me tea... and did the dishes! We talked while sitting on his couch.
Missing the Olympic Team the previous year had made me
pause and reflect on what I had gained—not the least of which was a quie t, indissoluble bond with a short man in a tropical shirt.
Nikolai taught me to have the courage, heart, and discipline to persist, e ven if it takes a billion tries.
He taught me to be thankful in advance for a century of life on earth, and to
remind myself every day that despite the challenges at hand, "Now must be love, love, love.
Unit 3
Marriage Across the Nations
Gail and I imagined a quiet wedding. During our two years together we had experienced the usual ups and downs of a couple learning to know, understand, and respect each other. But through it all we had honestly confronted the weaknesses and strengths of each other's characters.
Our racial and cultural differences enhanced our relationship and taught us a great deal about tolerance, compromise, and being open with each other. Gail
sometimes wondered why I and other blacks were so involved with the racial issue, and I was surprised that she seemed to forget the subtler forms of racial hatred in
American society.
Gail and I had no illusions about what the future held for us as a married, mixed couple in America. The continual source of our strength was our mutual trust and respect.
We wanted to avoid the mistake made by many couples of marrying for the wrong reasons, and only finding out ten,
twenty, or thirty years later that they were incompatible, that they hardly took the time to know each other, that they overlooked serious personality conflicts in the expectation that marriage was an automatic way to make everything work out right. That point was emphasized by the fact that Gail's parents, after thirty-five years of marriage, were going through a bitter and painful divorce, which had destroyed Gail and for a time had a negative effect on our
budding relationship.
When Gail spread the news of our wedding plans to her family she met with some resistance. Her mother, Deborah, all along had been supportive of our relationship, and even joked about when we were going to get married so she could have grandchildren. Instead of congratulations upon hearing our news, Deborah counseled Gail to be really sure she was doing the right thing.
"So it was all right for me to date him, but it's wrong for me to marry him. Is his color the problem, Mom?" Gail
subsequently told me she had asked her mother.
"To start with I must admit that at first I harbored reservations about a mixed marriage, prejudices you might even call them. But when I met Mark I found him a
charming and intelligent young guy. Any mother would be proud to have him for a son-in-law. So, color has nothing to do with it. Yes, my friends talk. Some even express shock at what you're doing. But they live in a different world. So you see, Mark's color is not the problem. My biggest worry is that you may be marrying Mark for the same wrong reasons that I married your father. When we met I saw him as my beloved, intelligent, charming, and caring. It was all so new, all so exciting, and we both thought, on the surface at least, that ours was an ideal marriage with every indication that it would last forever. I realized only later that I didn't know my beloved, your father, very well when we married." "But Mark and I have been together more than two years," Gail railed. "We've been through so much together. We've seen each other at our worst many times. I'm sure that time will only confirm what we feel deeply about each other." "You may be right. But I still think that waiting won't hurt.
You're only twenty-five."
Gail's father, David, whom I had not yet met personally, approached our decision with a father-knows-best attitude. He basically asked the same questions as Gail's mother: "Why the haste? Who is this Mark? What's his citizenship
status?" And when he learned of my problems with the Citizenship department, he immediately suspected that I was marrying his daughter in order to remain in the United
States.
"But Dad, that's harsh," Gail said.
"Then why the rush? Buy time, buy time," he remarked
repeatedly.
"Mark has had problems with citizenship before and has always taken care of them himself," Gail defended." In fact, he made it very clear when we were discussing marriage that if I had any doubts about anything, I should not
hesitate to cancel our plans."
Her father proceeded to quote statistics showing that mixed couples had higher divorce rates than couples of the same race and gave examples of mixed couples he had counseled who were having marital difficulties.
"Have you thought about the hardships your children would
go through?" he asked.
"Dad, are you a racist?"
"No, of course not. But you have to be realistic." "Maybe our children will have some problems, but whose children don't? But one thing they'll always have: our love
and devotion."
"That's idealistic. People can be very cruel toward children
from mixed marriages."
"Dad, we'll worry about that when the time comes. If we had to resolve all doubt before we acted, very little would
ever get done."
"Remember, it's never too late to change your mind."
Unti4
A Test of True Love
Six minutes to six, said the digital clock over the
information desk in Grand Central Station. John Blandford, a tall young a rmy officer, focused his eyesight on the clock to note the exact time. In si x minutes he would see the woman who had filled a special place in his li fe for the past thirteen months, a woman he had never seen, yet whose wri tten words had been with him and had given him strength without fail. Soon after he volunteered for military service, he had received a book fr om this woman. A letter, which wished him courage and safety, came wit
h the book. He discovered that many of his friends, also in the army, had r eceived the identical book from the woman, Hollis Meynell. And while th ey all got strength from it, and appreciated her support of their cause, Joh n Blandford was the only person to write Ms. Meynell back. On the day o f his departure, to a destination overseas where he would fight in the war, he received her reply. Aboard the cargo ship that was taking him into ene my territory, he stood on the deck and read her letter to him again and aga in. For thirteen months, she had faithfully written to him. When his lett ers did not arrive, she wrote anyway, without decrease. During the difficu lt days of war, her letters nourished him and gave him courage. As long as he received letters from her, he felt as though he could survive. After a sh ort time, he believed he loved her, and she loved him. It was as if fate had brought them together.
But when he asked her for a photo, she declined his request. She explain ed her objection: "If your feelings for me have any reality, any honest bas is, what I look like won't matter. Suppose I'm beautiful. I'd always be both ered by the feeling that you loved me for my beauty, and that kind of love would disgust me. Suppose I'm plain. Then I'd always fear you were writ ing to me only because you were lonely and had no one else. Either way, I would forbid myself from loving you. When you come to New York and you see me, then you can make your decision. Remember, both of us are free to stop or to go on after that—if that's what we choose..."
One minute to six... Blandford's heart leaped.
A young woman was coming toward him, and he felt a connection with her right away. Her figure was long and thin, her spectacular golden hair l ay back in curls from her small ears. Her eyes were blue flowers; her lips had a gentle firmness. In her fancy green suit she was like springtime com e alive.
He started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she wasn't wearin g a rose, and as he moved, a small, warm smile formed on her lips.
"Going my way, soldier?" she asked.
Uncontrollably, he made one step closer to her. Then he saw Hollis Mey nell.
She was standing almost directly behind the girl, a woman well past fort y, and a fossil to his young eyes, her hair sporting patches of gray. She wa s more than fat; her thick legs shook as they moved. But she wore a red ro se on her brown coat.
The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away and soon vanished in to the fog. Blandford felt as though his heart was being compressed into a small cement ball, so strong was his desire to follow the girl, yet so deep was his longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned and b rought warmth to his own; and there she stood. Her pale, fat face was gen tle and intelligent; he could see that now. Her gray eyes had a warm, kindl y look.
Blandford resisted the urge to follow the younger woman, though it was not easy to do so. His fingers held the book she had sent to him before he went off to the war, which was to identify him to Hollis Meynell. This wo uld not be love. However, it would be something precious, something per haps even less common than love—a friendship for which he had been, a nd would always be, thankful. He held the book out toward the woman.
"I'm John Blandford, and you—you are Ms. Meynell. I'm so glad you c ould meet me. May I take you to dinner?" The woman smiled. "I don't kn ow what this is all about, son," she answered. "That young lady in the gre en suit—the one who just went by—begged me to wear this rose on my c oat. And she said that if you asked me to go out with you, I should tell yo u that she's waiting for you in that big restaurant near the highway. She sa id it was some kind of a test."
Unte5
Weeping for My Smoking Daughter)
My daughter smokes. While she is doing her homework, her feet on the
bench in front of her and her calculator clicking out answers to her geom etry problems, I am looking at the half-empty package of Camels tossed c arelessly close at hand. I pick them up, take them into the kitchen, where t he light is better, and study them -- they are filtered, for which I am gratef ul. My heart feels terrible. I want to weep. In fact, I do weep a little, stand ing there by the stove holding one of the instruments, so white, so precise ly rolled, that could cause my daughter's death. When she smoked Marlboros and Players I hardened myself against feeling so bad; nobody I knew ever
smoked these brands.
She doesn't know this, but it was Camels that my father, her grandfather, smoked. But before he smoked cigarettes made by manufacturers -- when he was very young and very poor, with glowing eyes -- he smoked Prince Albert tobacco in cigarettes he rolled himself. I remember the bright-red t obacco tin, with a picture of
Queen Victoria's partner, Prince Albert, dressed in a black dress coat and carrying a cane.
By the late forties and early fifties no one rolled his own anymore (and few women smoked) in my hometown of Eatonton, Georgia. The tobacco industry, coupled
with Hollywood movies in which both male and female heroes smoked li ke chimneys,
completely won over people like my father, who were hopelessly hooked by cigarettes. He never looked as fashionable as Prince Albert, though; he continued to look like a poor, overweight, hard working colored man wit h too large a family, black, with a very white cigarette stuck in his mouth.
I do not remember when he started to cough. Perhaps it was unnoticeab le at first, a little coughing in the morning as he lit his first cigarette upon getting out of bed. By the time I was sixteen, my daughter's age, his breat h was a wheeze, embarrassing to hear; he could not climb stairs without r esting every third or fourth step. It was not unusual for him to cough for a n hour.
My father died from "the poor man's friend", pneumonia, one hard wint er when his
lung illnesses had left him low. I doubt he had much lung left at all, after coughing
for so many years. He had so little breath that, during his last years, he wa s always
leaning on something. I remembered once, at a family reunion, when my daughter was
two, that my father picked her up for a minute -- long enough for me to p hotograph them -- but the effort was obvious. Near the very end of his life , and largely because he had no more lungs, he quit smoking. He gained a
couple of pounds, but by then he was so slim that no one noticed. When I travel to Third World countries I see many people like my father a nd
daughter. There are large advertisement signs directed at them both: the to ugh, confident or fashionable older man, the beautiful, "worldly" young woman, both
dragging away. In these poor countries, as in American inner cities and on
reservations, money that should be spent for food goes instead to the toba cco companies; over time, people starve themselves of both food and air, effectively
weakening and hooking their children, eventually killing themselves. I re ad in the
newspaper and in my gardening magazine that the ends of cigarettes are s o
poisonous that if a baby swallows one, it is likely to die, and that the boile d water from a bunch of them makes an effective insecticide.
There is a deep hurt that I feel as a mother. Some days it is a feeling of uselessness.
I remember how carefully I ate when I was pregnant, how patiently I taug ht my daughter how to cross a street safely. For what, I sometimes wonde r; so that she can struggle to breathe through most of her life feeling half