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大连欧联雅思培训——雅思写作:如何通过范文提高写作

大连欧联雅思培训——雅思写作:如何通过范文提高写作
大连欧联雅思培训——雅思写作:如何通过范文提高写作

大连欧联雅思培训——雅思写作:如何通过范文提高写作

面对一篇优秀而且适合自己的雅思作文范文,应该从两个方面去研习:(1)范文的论证思路;(2)范文的语言使用。

大家可以先问问自己:如果遇到这个题目,自己会怎么去论证,怎么去表达?然后对比范文仔细揣摩,看看范文的优点在哪里,哪些是值得模仿和学习的?不少同学片面认为,研习范文就是背诵其中的好词好句,但实际上,作者使用这些词句是有上下文的,即这些词句是用来表达作者思想的,如果没有弄清楚作者思路,就没办法理解作者为什么使用这些词句,因而也就谈不上对范文的有效模仿。

雅思写作:如何通过范文提高写作

论证思路方面,首先要弄清楚范文的整体结构,每一段承担的功能是什么,然后要进入到每一段中,看每个句子承担什么功能,句与句之间的逻辑关系是什么,这些句子合在一起怎样为本段的中心意思服务。语言使用方面,要看作者在表达自己思想使用了什么样的词汇和句型,哪些自己还比较陌生因而值得去记忆,除此之外还要关注句子之间的逻辑关系怎样通过语言手段得到实现。

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

分析

本题是教育类老题目。问题的核心是“孩子在家接受教育好,还是到学校接受教育好”。这个话题大家一定有很多话可说。比如,在家接受教育,父母

能更了解自己的孩子,父母和孩子之间可以建立更加深厚的感情,孩子接受外面环境坏影响的可能性更低等;但是另外一方面,在家接受教育也使孩子学不会与人相处的基本能力,这对孩子的未来又很不利。建议本题采用双面讨论模式,最后提出:家庭教育固然重要,但最好还是让孩子接受学校教育。

7分范文

Contrary to the conventional practice of sending their kids to school, more and more parents today choose to educate their children themselves at home. While this "home-education" model may be beneficial in some ways, home can never replace school as the major place for the education of kids.

作文开头往往是很多同学的难点所在。

作文开头有多种方法,但万变不离其宗:首先是引入话题(introduction),然后是重述题目观点(restatement),最后提出自己的观点(overall view)。引入话题的方式很多,各种模板也很多,比如:when asked about..., people...; when it comes to ..., people...,应该说这些模板都是可行的,在想不到其他办法时,是可以使用的,但如果能找到更为新颖的话题引入方法,要尽量避免使用模板。的建议是:如果可能,烤鸭可学会使用描绘的办法引入话题,而不是简单地提出某个话题。

重述题目观点的核心是避免过多重复题目原话,一般不应该简单粗暴地重复,而是要对题目的表述方式进行改写。这里也涉及到很多办法:比如把原文的单词替换为词组或其他同义词,把原文的主动语态该为被动语态,调整原文句型,增加细节等。

本题的原文是:...there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. (......在家教育孩子而不是送到学校的父母数量在增加),范文的开头是:Contrary to the conventional practice of sending their kids to school, more and more parents today choose to educate their children themselves at home. (与将孩子送到学校的传统做法相反,越来越多的父母选择在家自己教育孩子)。可见,无论是句型,还是词汇表达,都对原句进行一定程度的改造,同时保持基本意义没有变化。有些同学可能会问:这种替换能力从何而来?认为:首先你得有这种替换的意识,然后通过多做句型转换练习,只有这样才能获得这种能力。

Admittedly, home-education can bring about greatbenefits. With only one kid to teach, the parents will be able to know completely about the problems the kid has. In contrast, the teachers in school can not spend that much time on the same kid because they have dozens of others to take care of. The natural result of this is that the home-educated kid may be given full attention to while his counterpart in school may well be ignored by his teachers. It is, therefore, very possible that a kid receiving home education excels a kid in school in terms of test scores.

本段先扬后抑,先论述家庭教育的好处。写这种段落的时候,学生不要着急,不要一上来就写具体的好处,而是要先写一句统领全段的话。这里写的是:Admittedly, home-education can bring about greatbenefits. 接下去,你当然可以写first,..., secondly,..., finally...但没有这样做,而是开始有顺序地论述在家教孩子的好处。“只教一个孩子,父母能够知道孩子的所有问题。相反,学校的老师不能在一个孩子身上花大量的时间,因为他们需要照顾众多孩子”(With only one kid to teach, the parents will be able to know completely about the problems the kid has. In contrast, the teachers in school can

not spend that much time on the same kid because they have dozens of others to take care of.)。请仔细揣摩这里的论说方式:抓住一个核心点(家庭教育只教一个孩子),然后由这个核心点往下渗透(父母知道孩子的所有问题),由这点再朝下挖掘,这么做的好处是什么呢?就是孩子能够得到全部的关注(the kid may be given full attention to),而得到全部关注的结果是什么呢?那就是孩子的考试成绩可能高于去学校学习的孩子(the kid excels others in terms of test scores)。这里使用的是一种典型的“自然接续法”,从一个点逐渐渗透,直到讲清楚这个点带来的最终结果。自然接续法可以确保论证富有逻辑性,也容易讲清楚。

语言表达方面,注意到了句型变化:

(1)With only one kid to teach, the parents will be able to...(独立主格结构)

(2)The natural result of this is that the home-educated kid may be given full attention to while his counterpart in school may well be ignored by his teachers.(while引导转折)

(3)It is, therefore, very possible that a kid receiving home education excels a kid in school in terms of test scores.(it is引导的主语从句)

Nevertheless, test score is not the only objective of education. As far as I understand, education is more about telling a kid to become a better person and the first step towards this aim is learning to get along with people. In this regard, home-education can do very little.

However, when the kid is sent to school, he will learn how to work out a problem in cooperation with his peer classmates and in this process, he will understand the art of cooperation and leadership. A home-educated kid, however much he achieves in tests, is just like a flower in greenhouse which easily withers away when exposed to the rain outside.

本段转折回来,论述孩子去学校的好处。第一句承接上段结尾中的test score,说考试分数不是教育的唯一目标。那教育的目标还有哪些呢?很自然就写As far as I understand, education is more about telling a kid to become a better person and the first step towards this aim is learning to get along with people.(在我看来,教育更应教会孩子怎样才能成为一个好的人,而实现这个目标的第一步就是学会与人相处)。这里就引出了“与人相处”这个话题。接下来就要具体说清楚在这方面,学校为什么比家要好: when the kid is sent to school, he will learn how to work out a problem in cooperation with his peer classmates and in this process, he will understand the art of cooperation and leadership. 最后用一句大家都熟悉话结尾:在家教育的孩子,无论成绩有多好,都不过是温室中的花朵,一旦暴露在外面的风雨中就会凋谢。这里使用的仍然是自然接续法:先说教育的目的是为了让学生成为更好的人,为了成为更好的人,学生要学会与人相处,在这方面,学校教育就比家庭教育更有优势,因为在学校学生可以学会与同学一起解决问题,这样就能学到合作和领导的才能,而在家庭教育中孩子则像温室花朵。

语言方面,在本段尤其注意到了论证过程中节奏。首先是一短句,很清楚地表达教育的目的不仅是考试分数,接着用一句较长的句子说教育的更重要目的以及如何实现这个目的,接下来再一短句说家庭无法实现这个目的,然后用长句论证学校如何可以实现这个目的,最后用一个较长句将接受学校教育的孩子和家庭教育的孩子进行比较。本段长短句错落有致,配合使用,观点部分很明确,

论证部分显得很丰富。

Unlike many worried parents who prefer to educate their kids at home, I believe school is the best place for kids' education. While there may be some bad influences outside home, there are also many excellent people who could be role models for kids. Most important of all, it is just in not so pure a place as school that kids can learn to tell right from wrong, good from bad and eventually become a physically and psychologically sound person when he grows up.

本段提出自己的观点:学校比家庭教育好。双边讨论的写作中,最后一段需要提出自己的观点或立场,而为了提出这个观点,就需要说出你的判断标准。这里,提出学校比家庭好的标准是:学校里有优秀的榜样(role models)供孩子们学习,以及学校虽然不及家庭单纯,但正因如此,孩子们才能学会辨别是非的能力(tell right from wrong),这样长大后才能身心健康(physically and psychologically sound)。

表达方面,使用的句型有:

(1)Unlike many worried parents who prefer to educate their kids at home, I believe... (介词短语置于句首, who引导的定语从句)

(2)While there may be some bad influences outside home, there are also... (While转折句)

(3)...it is just in not so pure a place as school that kids can learn to tell right from wrong... (强调句型)

雅思大作文范文三十篇

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