雅思教父刘洪波：犯罪类雅思作文高分范文及点评

雅思教父刘洪波：犯罪类雅思作文高分范文及点评
雅思教父刘洪波2010权威作品
《最简化雅思写作》
8月光芒上市
从零开始，单词、词组、句式、思想
完全应对官方四大评分标准
最新研发最简化15句写作框架模板
涵盖雅思题库各类型高分范文
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中国区前任雅思考官强力推荐


Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

How to handle criminals is a problem that all countries and societies face. Traditionally, the approach has been to punish them by placing them in prisons to pay for what they have done. Some, however, advocate for trying to make them better with training and education and it seems they may have a good point.

First of all, consider all the money that we have to spend to lock people up in jail. It doesn’t seem like a good use of public money if the people don’t actually get any better. Because most criminals eventually are let out of prison, our focus should be on making them better citizens.

In fact, the reason why many people end up in jail in the first place is because they didn’t have a good education or happy family. So if they can learn job skills they perhaps can find work and feel they can contribute in a positive way. If they do this, they won’t need crime. Surly everyone deserves a second chance.

Of course this does not mean that we should be too lenient on criminals. Those who commit crime should still be punished, but during their punishment they should also be treated. If we make an investment in them and show compassion, most will be able to make a new start.

To summarize, we must make more of an effort to go to the root of the problem. We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need: education and training. By giving people the skills for a second chance we can make our society safer and healthier.
(271 words)

Harvey点评：
写作线索：首段，赞同题目观点；第二段，罪犯在监狱里什么都不做是花着纳税人的钱的；第三段，没有接受教育和不幸的家庭是原因，要教育，要给他们机会；第四段；当然要惩罚，但惩罚和治疗并用。末段总结。
好文章。末段第二句的比喻给本文增色不少，：We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need: education and training.十分贴切。

先学习下面的词汇和短语，然后再重读范文，体会它们在文中的运用

词汇
Punish vt.惩罚，处罚
Advocate vt.提倡
jail n.监狱=prison
lenient adj.宽大的，仁慈的
compassion n.同情
patient n.病人

短语
in jail监禁
end up最后结果
commit crime犯罪
make an investment in…投资于
make an effort to do 努力去做

三

分钟熟读或背诵本文最实用的三个句子

? In fact, the reason why many people end up in jail in the first place is because they didn’t have a good education or happy family.

? We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need: education and training.

? By giving people the skills for a second chance we can make our society safer and healthier.

——摘自刘洪波2010新作《最简化雅思写作》