搜档网
当前位置:搜档网 › 雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析
雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走,是的,不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家,一起来学习吧。

雅思7分大作范文批改和解析

雅思写作提高第一步:结构(5.0 - 5.5)

问题:出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)

同学:One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners.

解析:出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education,在国内就不是better? 出

国留学可不仅仅是上大学,而该同学认为出国留学就是去上大学的(因为她可能就是去上大学的,所以觉得所有人也都如此),偏激。此外,第四句论述变成了英语环境了(因为大家都去英语国家,所以主观认为,所有出国的人就是去学英语的),再次带来了内容偏激。

大家找问题的时候是不是去找语法或者词汇使用上面的错误了?对,很多时候大家认为自己写的没什么问题(毕竟词汇和语法没少使用),分数低会归类到“压分”。那么在感受一下5.5分的原因真是词汇或者语法问题吗?考官看不懂,就是看不懂;唯一看懂的就是结构还算完整,所以5.0 - 5.5分。

雅思写作提高第二步:逻辑(6.0 - 6.5)

逻辑部分的主要得分点有两个:一个是观点的准确性;一个是论证方法的灵活使用。我们根据刚才的5.0 - 5.5分的*,进一步感受一下有了逻辑的内容有什么区别。

问题:出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)

Tim老师改:One reason for those who decide to go overseas for study is that they believe they can have access to different educational resources. That is to say, different countries have different educational system, and they can provide people with

their specialized courses and rich resources to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in a foreign environment and being affected by local culture make people learn a language more quickly.

解析:Tim老师通过修改了上面同学的问题,把内容变得更准确、有说服力。所以,5.5 - 6.0分的一个最佳提分方式就是学会总结归纳自己要说的内容;否则,只是通过词汇或者语法是很难提高分数的(大家可以感受一下自己当下的学习方式就知道了)。

雅思写作第三步:语言(7+)

小站雅思君进一步给大家感受一下7.0分的标准又和上面的内容有什么区别。

问题:出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)

On one hand, people can have access to different educational resources when they pursue their study in another country. It is self-evident that everyone would choose a place that offers a more competitive and better education in certain field as the destination for their overseas studies. This explains the reason why bunches of

young people flood into some countries for further their study, such as America or Germany. Under this circumstance, students will receive many materials that are more up-to-date and teachers can provide them with the latest development in their fields that differs from others.

解析:一段只围绕一个观点做展开论述。通过强调论证、解释论证、递进句等不同论证方法来解释观点:出国留学可以让人们获取不同的教育资源。并且语言使用准确且多样,层层递进。所以,从段落的逻辑性、紧密型以及语言使用的多样性还有准确性上面都符合7分标准。

雅思写作Task2教育类考官范文

Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors.

I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.

Model Answer:

One of the greatest advantages is that the children learn to be independent. Having to cook, clean, and pay bills instills this in them. Often they have to work part-time to make ends meet, and

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析 距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走,是的,不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家,一起来学习吧。 雅思7分大作范文批改和解析 雅思写作提高第一步:结构(5.0 - 5.5) 问题:出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad) 同学:One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners. 解析:出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education,在国内就不是better? 出

雅思大作文范文三十篇

Topic 1: When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? 媒体信息一致的缺点: ?国际媒体(global media)—般掌握在少数几个有实力的机构手中(in the hands of a few, large, powerful organizations);有了媒体的宣传(propaganda)后,西方文化成了主流(domineering force),大规模的、有吸引力的广告(mass seductive advertising )唤起了落后地区人们对物质新的向往(create fresh desires),经济联系增强(strong economic ties),西方产品取代了本地产品,使人们更加向往西方的文化; ?文化开始融合在一起(mingle),人们被新的价值观所围绕(bombarded with new values),对自己的文化失去信心和自豪感(confidence and pride),拒绝接受自己的文化传统(rejection of their cultural heritage)转而接受西方的文化习惯(adoption of Western cultural practices);西方媒体削弱了民族的特征(ethnic identity)和社会的凝聚力(social cohesion);因为担心失去观众(a loss of viewers),当地的电视台也开始播放西方的电视节目(television shows), ?国际媒体的普遍会降低世界文化的品质和多样性(degrade the quality and diversity of world culture);文化被商业化(commercialized), —些文化产品(cultural goods),如音乐、服装,都变成了商品(commodities in the marketplace)。因此,即便一些文化在世界其他地方传播,它原来的性质(authenticity)已经丧失。 媒体信息一致的优点: ?国家之间的频繁交往会促进文化之间的交流。因此,相互了解和相互认同的可能性(likelihood of mutual understanding and mutual acceptance )就会增加,这是顺应全球化的趋势; ?未必一定放弃传统观念(not necessarily lead to the abolition of traditional values),事实上媒体可以起到宣传和稳固传统文化的作用; ?主流媒体一般都会反应文化多元性(The dominant media reflect cultural diversity.); —些外国节目其实促进了文化多元性(Most foreign programming is promoting cultural diversity.),适应了当地的条件(adapt to local conditions),注意到了当地文化的敏感性(aware of cultural sensitivity).自我调节来适应市场(exercise self-censorship to suit the market :)。 As international media companies expand across the world, the growing popularity and uniformity of some media programs (such as TV shows, movies, fashion shows) is causing worldwide concern. Many people have strong views toward this trend. In my opinion, international media is closely linked to cultural globalization and cultural homogeneity. The dominance of international media is a sign of Western cultural imperialism and has the potential to thwart cultural diversity. It is not a secret that international media is owned and operated by a handful of giant corporations, such as Time Warner. They control large sectors of the media market and place national media companies at risk. The contraction in the number of media owners will cause a proportional reduction, in the variety of programs broadcasted. For example, painting, music and movies accessible in the media have a small number of genres, imposing restraints on one's knowledge of artworks of different cultural backgrounds. In addition to seizing control over those creative industries, global entertainment companies affect cultural diversity by reshaping the perceptions, beliefs and norms of ordinary citizens in different countries. Most of the cultural values and ideals promoted by the leading mainstream media are of American origin. American culture values individuality, maximization of one's benefits and material wealth, rather than communal life and family solidarity, the values and norms previously treasured in" many Asian countries. Unfortunately, many Asian people now imitate American people, causing the alteration of their perceptions of family. This radical change can be attributed to those movies and TV programs that portray the success of American individuals or corporations.

雅思写作九分作文范文欣赏

雅思写作九分作文范文欣赏: There is no doubt that helping students find a job is one of the primary functions of university education,but universities do exist for other purposes such as improving students’ analytical skills and raising students’ moral standards. A university education can be seen as a process of improving students’ analytical thinking. The variety of courses offered at university inspires students in various ways,therefore improving their analytical ability. For example,science courses such as math and biology help students develop a rational way of thinking whereas arts courses such as literature may let students ponder over issues from a logical,multi- dimensional perspective; and courses in social sciences force students to recognize the ideas that have been traditionally assumed to be acceptable and unproblematic.

2016.12.17雅思真题大作文7分范文

Task:Some people think getting old is entirely bad. However, others think that life of the elderly in modern world is much easier than in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 思路解析: 2016年雅思收官之战的作文来了一道新题,问当今社会老年人的生活是不是很 糟糕?说是新题,因为本题以前从未原题出现过,但关于年龄的话题却不缺少。 比如2010年7月10日“年轻人是否适合担任政府要职”,2012年3月10日“老 龄化现象的原因及解决方法”,2012年3月31日“年轻人和老年人谁的价值更 高?”,2013年6月8日“政府是否应该对老年人养老提供财政支持?”,2015 年1月1日“年轻人当领导,行不行?”,2015年4月11日“老年人与年轻人 争夺工作职位,怎么办?”等等。 本题需要论证的对立观点是:年老很糟糕 vs. 当今社会年老没有那么糟糕。那 么,变老有哪些坏处呢?首先,当然是身体条件没有以前好了,甚至可能出现多 种疾病(物质层面);其次,不工作了,与人的联系少了,心里可能会感觉孤单, 甚至感觉没有价值了(精神层面);最后,变老后对社会的依赖程度更高,给社会 增加了压力(社会层面)。那么,这些问题在当今社会是不是得到了解决呢?首先, 医疗条件的改善有助于保持老年人的身体状况;互联网的出现有助于缓解老年人 的心理孤单问题;物质水平的提高也降低了老年人给社会造成的压力。如此观之, 现代社会老年人的生活的确容易多了,但我的观点是:外部条件只是改善老年人 生活的一个方面,最重要的还是老年人自己要积极调整心态,努力适应退休后的 生活,从而过一个更幸福更祥和的晚年。 Sample answer: Getting old is a natural process that nobody really likes. When you reach a certain age, your physical conditions will inevitably deteriorate, and you may suffer from various kinds of diseases. When you retire, you will feel isolated because your previous work contacts may be all gone, then you may feel useless to the world. Furthermore, when you get too old, you’ ll have to rely heavily on the support from others, either physically or emotionally, and your life will become a great pressure to your family and the whole society as well. For all these bad things about getting old, many people argue that the life of the elderly today is much easier than in the past. In the first place, medical advances nowadays have made it possible for the old people to stay sound and healthy for quite a long while even after they retire. Diseases such as diabetes, hypertension and heart attack which might have

G类雅思7分作文范文

G类雅思7分作文范文 Topic Some people say that older people should live with their adult children. Others say that they shouldn't. Which do you think is good practice. TEXT(257 Words) One of the topics in daily life is whether or not the older people should live with their adult children. My answer is the question is that it is better for them not to. Firstly, people of different ages have different ways of life. The old people like a quiet, peaceful and regular life whereas the young prefer noises, activities and unrestrained enjoyment. If they live together, old may feel that they are always disturbed and the young may feel that they are often handicapped. Secondly, people of different generations have different views and values. What is quite normal to the parents may seem to be old-fashioned or wrong to the children. When they live together, they may disagree on matters ranging from minor domestic matters to national and international issues. Consequently, family life may be unpleasant or even unbearable to both the old and the young. Last but not the least, adult children, like their parents, love independence and freedom, but their parents still take them as children and unintentionally interfere in their affairs. The situation will be worse if the adult children are already married. In this case, the children have already built a new and closed world and any outside interference may lead to conflicts. From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that if the parents and their adult children do not live together, both the old and the young can enjoy complete independence and freedom, live a life they like, and keep intact their affections for each other 雅思范文:电脑是否现代教育所必须? 成因 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Present a written argument or case to an educated non-specialist audience on the following topic. Are computers an essential feature of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers? You should write at least 250 words. 提示 You should you your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Topic words: Computers Essential features / absolutely necessary Modern education / good education Task words: There are no specific task words. Three separate questions are given. Questions I should ask myself: Do I think computers are essential for education? What subjects do I think are best be learnt using computers? What do I think are the features of a good education, and are computers important in it?

雅思大作文范文三篇雅思大作文写

雅思大作文范文三篇雅思大作文写 正题: ESSAY分为三部分: 1.Introduction 2.Body 3.Conclusion 一篇学术性论文当中,这三部分是必须要有的,同理在考试中才能得高分。 那么什么是introduction呢,之前看书说是把题目用替换词带入照抄,后来发现这是傻瓜式写法,对于要求写作7分以上的同学并不适用。真正的introduction是“present your viewpoint”那么怎样来present呢?继续。 第一步:lead-in background information即导入背景信息。 看这个例子:

Some people think visitors to other countries should imitate local custom and behaviors. Some people degree. They think the host country should wele culture different. Discuss the two views,and give your own opinion.. 这个论文题目里, tourism 就是一个背景信息,所以我们introduction里第一句就该来介绍或者叫导入背景信息,即 tourism的信息。例如: Tourism has became an indispensable part in our modern world.或者Tourism is gradually considered to be a hot topic 第二步:narrow down information即从大背景信息里提出你要去论证的方面。还是上面给出的题目,你要narrow down出来的就是:“people show more concern to their two views. Some of them think visitors to others nations should imitate local custom and behaviors,but others argue that the host nation should wele various cultures” 第三步:your viewpoint即给出你自己的立场。例如上题你就 可以说:“As far as I am concerned,I side with the former”

雅思大作文5分与7分范文各项指数对比分析

雅思大作文5分与7分范文各项指数对比分析 Let’s compare two answers to a question.The topic is as follows: International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the advantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? A Poor Essay – The following is a band 5 essay. International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? In my opinion advantages outweight the disadvantages. Firstly, many countries like Egypt or Tailand live from tourism Lots of people work there as a seilsmens or tourist guides. These countries without support of tourists wouldn’t be able to funtcion properly. Secondly, in countries visited by tourists are plenty of places where people just can’t pass because of rare animals or plant s. Another thing is that people like traveling and seeing new exotic places. They like lie on the beach or swim in ocean. Furthermore, tourism is now more growing industry highering tousands of people. There are makeing new places to work and to have fun. But on the other hand, people often for get that they aren’t the only beings on the planet. Many tourists are living garbage just anywhere. Some of them wan’t an exotic souvenir so they pay for illegal things like dea d or live animals or some sculpture. To sum up I think international traveling is a good thing but people must realise that there is something else besides them. They need to know that flora and fauna needs to be protected. People have to enjoy their holidays but alsow protect environment. Below is an analysis of this essay. Task Response The essay question has been copied and used as the introduction (paragraph 1). Once these 34 words are taken off the word count, the response is underlength at 194 words and so loses marks. Nevertheless, the topic is addressed and a relevant position is expressed, although there are patches – as in the third paragraph – where the development is unclear. Other ideas are more relevant but are sometimes insufficiently developed.

2017雅思A类写作大作文真题范文

2017雅思A类写作大作文真题范文 1.07 教育类 Task:Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects, so some people think that it should not be a compulsory subject at high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Schools are places where students acquire knowledge and skills needed for further achievements. Given the pressure that students are facing, some cannot help wondering whether art classes should still be compulsory. Those holding the view that art classes should not be compulsory might think that art consumes too much of students' time. Fierce competitions students will face when applying for universities necessitate total devotion to academic subjects. College students who intend to take science as their major are even expected to be fluent in foreign languages now so that essays written by foreign scholars are not barriers in their academic pursuit. In other words, high school students are supposed to show higher levels of academic competence,which seemingly makes art unessential. However, art classes are by no means only intended for entertainment. Children even dabbling in art tend to be more creative in mind. Those skilled in music or painting can interpret the world in a way that we cannot expect from a layman. This kind of ingenuity is also a rare quality constantly found in great scientists, whose contributions have served to create a totally new field for the latter generations. In his reply to a question about death, Albert Einstein considered his departure from the mortal world to be forever farewell to another great musician. With a sigh he answered "I cannot listen to Mozart anymore". Thus, can we simply regard art classes to be selective?

雅思作文范文大全

好的东西,和大家分享,看这个帖子的人肯定比较多,大家别冒险背诵,了解一下范文的思路好了。 v105 some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages,do you agre e or disagree? 范文1 the birth of cars have made an enormous change to our life.in the past,we travel from one pl ace to another only by foot,nowaday,cars can do it .its goes withour saying that the inventi on of cars bring great benefit to all of us.but as proverb goes:no garden without weeds.ca r is not exception. owing a car has a lot of advantages.for one thing,car provide us the most convient way of tr ansportation.we can get around freely without spenting a lot of time.emotionally,i always fo und driving is so exciting.for another,its the comfortable to drive a car.In winter.driver s always can stay warm and dry even in rainy whether,in addition,drivers are usually safe i n their cars when they are out at night. Cars bring the human merits,their side-effects graudually come to the surface.firstly,to ru n a car need a lot of oil,which is getting less and less.the increasing number of cars contr ibute the lacking of energy.secondlly,as more and more cars are used,the traffic ecpeciall y in big cities is getting heaver and heavier,which lead to the serious social problem--traf fic jam.in addition,the inceasing numbers of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantities of c arbon monoxide into atmosphere.it make the air of cities unbreathabe,it strip people contac t with frensh air. therefore,the new energy should be explored to replace the oil so that our envionmental poll ution can be avioded .and the strick law should be issued to keep the numbers of cars unde r control.thus,our heavier traffic can be solluted! 范文2 Private cars vs Public traffic As traffic problems become more and more serious in many cities of developed and developin g countries, their governments have to try hard and loads of money and energy have been spen t to deal with them. Firstly, it is not efficient for the commuters to use their private cars to and back from th eir workplaces. Occasionally we can see they have to sit on the wheels wasting time and fue

two parts(雅思考官Simon最新九分范文)

题目是Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries? 很多人喜欢外国电影胜过本土电影。原因?政府该资助本地电影么? 考官级范文库:6大题型36篇9分雅思写作范文汇总分享 范文: It is true that foreign films are more popular in many countries than domestically produced films. There could be several reasons why this is the case, and I believe that governments should promote local film-making by subsidising the industry. There are various reasons why many people find foreign films more enjoyable than the films produced in their own countries. Firstly, the established film industries in certain countries have huge budgets for action, special effects and to shoot scenes in spectacular locations. Hollywood blockbusters like ‘Avatar’or the James Bond films are examples of such productions and the global appeal that they have. Another reason why these big-budget films are so successful is that they often star the most famous actors and actresses, and they are made by the most accomplished producers and directors. The poor quality, low-budget filmmaking in many countries suffers in comparison. In my view, governments should support local film industries financially. In every country, there may be talented amateur film-makers who just need to be given the opportunity to prove themselves. To compete with big-budget productions from overseas, these people need money to pay for film crews, actors and a host of other costs related to producing high-quality films. If governments did help with these costs, they would see an increase in employment in the film industry, income from film sales, and perhaps even a rise in tourist numbers. New Zealand, for example, has seen an increase in tourism related to the 'Lord of the Rings' films, which were partly funded by government subsidies. In conclusion, I believe that increased financial support could help to raise the quality of locally made films and allow them to compete with the foreign productions that currently dominate the market. (295 words, band 9) 题目是Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?重复犯罪的原因和解决方法 范文: A large number of criminals who serve their first prison sentence, leave prison only to reoffend. This is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty finding regular employment once released. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffend. Firstly, the reason for most first-time offenders committing crimes again, once they have been released from prison, is due to the lack of rehabilitation whilst in prison. In other words, offenders are not given a chance to retrain and learn new skills for their future or develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour and instead mix with other criminals, which only strengthens their criminal intentions. Secondly, repeat offending is also owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released. As a result, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences. There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat offenders. One way to tackle this is to ensure that all criminals entering prison are given the chance to retrain with useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing this, it will help them reintegrate back into society and give them some means of supporting themselves financially. Another method of dealing with criminals who reoffend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in society. This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because they are being so closely watched. In conclusion, having training in prison and also close observation when first time offenders are released are effective in dealing with the issue. If governments implemented these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.

相关主题