雅思写作批改范例

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.

Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book.

On the other hand the books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the reality some people also go to the library to read book.

In my opinion the book in library cannot follow the pace of the times, although the information in book is more authoritative, the new research will replace the old knowledge, but the book in library cannot update like the internet.

In sum, government is unnecessary to spend more money into public libraries. Because of the development of the times, an increasing number of people will use internet to get information.

———————————————————大作文修改————————————————————小马过河雅思作文批改老师给出的修改意见：

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the ( 不需要the) other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost （cost主语一般是物，后面经常跟双宾语cost sb money，如this book cost me 5 yuan.你这里应该用spend，与on 搭配，或者是pay 与for搭配） money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.

总体评价就是模板痕迹太过严重，这个开头得分是5.5分左右，这个内容虽然有自己的，但是句式太多太多人用了。

建议你可以看看我们的题目改写练习，看看回复后出现的思路，再加上一些复杂结构和好的单词，就能得到7分开头的精髓了。

Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information（这个词出现第二次了，建议你在相近的地方运用同义词替换，我看到你后面吧search换成find和get,建议你上网查查看看有什么意思一样但比较高级的词汇，可以来告诉我喔~然后把他们背下来吧~） in modern life, there are a lot of people use（作定语用动词ing形式using） computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library (这里的先行词不能丢which )cost(这是一件事s) a large amount of time to read book s.

用词简单了，语法结构也有错误，还有单复数拼写的错误。还要加强练习~

On the other hand， the books in libraries are though（这里是想表达经历了吗？首先，穿过是through though是尽管的意思，再就是经历了不这么用，have experienced ） many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to (a/the) library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in (a)medical book, if (a) doctor find (out that) some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the reality some people also go to the library to read book. (这里的理由没有交代清楚，是说有些人比较拮据不能上网所以去图书馆看书吗？)

In my opinion， the book in （the）library cannot follow the pace of the times,(这里句子结束了用点号)A although the information in （the）book is more authoritative, the new research will replace the old knowledge, but(although不能喝but连用，前面用了although这里就不要用but，根据你的句子结构这里应该用and 或者while) the book in (the) library cannot update like the internet.

In sum, government is unnecessary to spend more money into（on）public libraries. Because of the development of the times, an increasing number of people will use internet to get information.

总体思路还可以，但是定冠词的运用存在很多问题，我觉得骑士的原因是你用中文去翻译英文，多以就会漏掉很多单复数的表达，英文我们中文里面是没有这个表达的，建议你注意一下，因为这是一个很基本的点，很可能会留下不好的印象。再就是在常识运用一些复杂句子的时候，语法会出现一些问题，希望能再加强锻炼，背一些长单句，或者再看看标准的语法结构。

总体评价，这篇文章在5.5分左右，但是如果碰见严格的老师可能会只有5分

The bar chart presents information about the different ages for using internet in Taiwan from 1998-2000.

The young people who were less than 15 ages use the internet accounted for 2% of the all age group in 1998, after which it increased to 8% in 1999. In contrast the proportion of 16-30 years old people saw a decline to 45% in 1999, although the proportion of 16-30 years old people was the largest during 1992 to 2000.

The proportion of older people who were 31-50 years old use the internet saw a light decline from 1998 to 1999, after which it dropped to 37%. But there was a stead increased trend in people who more than 50 years old, rising from 4% in 1998 to 10% in 2000.

Overall both the youngest and oldest people who used the internet saw an upward trend from 1998 to 2002, but the people who were 31-50 years old remained constant from 1998 to 2000.

——————————————————小作文修改—————————————————————小马过河雅思作文批改老师给出的修改意见：

The bar chart presents information about the different ages for using internet in Taiwan from 1998-2000.

The young people who were less than 15 ages(15岁是15 years old) use（定语using） the internet accounted for 2% of the all age group（s）in 1998, after which it increased to 8% in 1999. In contrast, the proportion of 16-30 years old people saw a decline （建议加上from 53%）to 45% in 1999, although the proportion of 16-30 years old(其实这里可以直接用一个those) people was the largest during 1992（8这里应该是失误） to 2000.

The proportion of older(elder通常于名词前作定语用，而不能用在be动词或系动词后作表语,即This is my elder brother,而older作“年长的”解时，则正好与之相反，它用作表语，而不用作定语形容词,即He is older. ) people who were 31-50 years old use(using) the internet saw a light decline from 1998 to 1999, after which it dropped to 37%.（这里描述虽然是对的，但是把一个一直下降的分开来写还是有点奇怪，稍微改动的话建议把dropped改为continued dropping） But there was a stead increased trend (steady increasing trend) in people who (were )more than 50 years old, rising from 4% in 1998 to 10% in 2000.

Overall , both the youngest and oldest people who used the internet saw an upward trend from 1998 to 2002, but the people who were 31-50 years old remained (为了使逻辑更精确，建议加almost) constant from 1998 to 2000.

小作文，词的替换有点少，比如说最后from 1998 to 2002, 两句用的都是这个，建议把类似这种的用法都给替换一下，比如说这句，就可以吧后面一个改成among this years。

小作文来说，趋势的描写和数字的挑选都有注意到逻辑也还可以。但是同样还是有一些小错误。小作文的得分是接近6分。

总体评价作文得分是5.5分。

雅思大作文批改之increase of anti-social behavior and a lack of respect to others的cause和solution

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: There is a general increase of anti-social behavior and a lack of respect to others. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words. [There is an unfortunate phenomenon that an increasing number of people tend to behave like antisocialists with little respect to others. There are a multitude of reasons involved in this phenomenon that should be deeply analyzed in order to put forward effective solutions to reserve the trend. ] This undesirable fact is actually a result of mixed reasons. Chief among the causes of this trend is the poverty-stricken life as well as the unfulfilled ambition, which are due to the deficiency of resources themself and the unfairness of society. Consequently, tortured by the long-term impoverishment and frustration, these citizens are apt to transform the pessimistic motion into the accumulating complaints and dissatisfactions towards society. Another contributing factor lies in the apathy and numbness of our society, which has a detrimental effect on intercommunication. The situation is deteriorating with those civilians who pursuit[ at] profits and money blindly, which might lead to the ignorance and disrespect to others. In most cases, the citizens in question are probably treated in this way for a period of time, let alone showing respect to other people. It is, therefore, imperative for measures to be taken to reserve this trend. On one hand, the citizens ought to strive to improve their own lives by mastering a specific skill. In addition, those who fail to fulfill the ambition are supposed to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do and how to achieve it instead of endless blaming. On the other hand, it is the responsibility of the authority to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor. Furthermore, the government is obligated to give financial support to the construction of spiritual life of common people. To conclude, there is certain inevitability in this problem owing to civilians’

雅思写作批改 (18)

Public museums are no longer important because people can see the historical objects and artworks on the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? （250words，within 40min） Traditionally, we usually need to travel a long time to a museum just to view several historical objects as well as artworks, but now, some people, however, suggest that museums are not that significant as we are able to search almost all the details of ones if we like. In my opinion, public museums will not remain as a critical role in our lives. Admittedly, it would be of more inconvenience when we have to go to a certain museum to see some objects rather than searching it on the Internet.For one thing, most of the information online is always free and easy to access but if we are required to one museum we have to pay for the transportation fee, the ticket, even a meal near a museum. For another, it might also be a pity if some of the object would not be exhibit all of the time so it is normal to meeta condition that you could not even take a look at one that you really like. Internet, though, never facing this problem so you can view it any time you want. For those organizations who run the museum such as governments, it is costly to open museums as well as exhibiting and protecting all the time. (时间到)They are supposed to protect the historical object and artwork which always worth several millions of dollars for that reason they not only have to employ some super professional security guard in high salariesbut also buy some high tech machine to spy themand it is really a waste of money. What’s worse, if

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析 距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走，是的，不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家，一起来学习吧。 雅思7分大作范文批改和解析 雅思写作提高第一步：结构(5.0 - 5.5) 问题：出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad) 同学：One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners. 解析：出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education，在国内就不是better? 出

雅思大作文批改范例4

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think itis a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion. It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea. Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book. On the other handthe books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the

雅思大作文写作范例

雅思大作文(simplified version) Writing task 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write about 250 words. Sample answer Animals are very useful to humans in medical experiments. Many people argue that animals should not be used for testing medical technology and drug developments. On the other hand, others claim that without animal testing, some patients would suffer and even die from their diseases. I agree that we should not use animals for experiments. In other words, animal testing should be stopped. First, animal tests violate animals’rights. Nothing seems more brutal than taking away a life, no matter it belongs to a man or an animal. Second, not all the experiments are reliable. The treatment and drugs which are effective to animals sometimes are useless and even have negative effects on humans. Third, not all the experiments are necessary. With the development of technology, computer simulation can achieve similar results. However, those people who strongly believe that we should use animals in experiments have reasons for it. For one thing, animal testing allows scientists to test and create new drugs. It would be cruel that some people die of a disease because there is not enough information on the effective treatment of the disease. For another, now there are no other better methods to replace animal tests. Therefore, animal tests are still regarded as the only reliable and feasible method for that purpose. More importantly, animals such as monkeys or rabbits which are often used in experiments are easily bred. We don’t need to worry about their extinction. Furthermore, most countries set standards for animal treatment during test the test, and laboratories have regulations to prevent cruelty. From the above comparison and contrast, I can confidently conclude that animals should not be used for testing medical technology and drug developments. Being creatures, animals can enjoy the same rights as humans. Information from animal tests do not perfectly apply to humans. I believe that other better methods will soon be discovered to replace the cruel animal tests.

雅思作文八分经典范文

雅思作文八分经典范文：环境、资源与交通问题 The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems.What are those problems?In order to reduce the problems,should we discourage people to use cars? The fast increase in the number of cars have brought along many related problems which are well worth our greatest attention. First of all,urban traffic is getting from bad to worse.I’d like to cite my own experience as an example.Five years ago,it took me about30minutes to drive from home to office.One year later,I needed to spend about40minutes on the way.Then two years later,I had to start out from home at least1hour earlier in order to get to my office on good time for work.And then,since last year,it has just been too normal for me to spend about one and half hours to make it.The traffic just moves like a worm! Second,with the ever growing number of cars,air quality in urban areas is deteriorating with each passing day.We used to see clear blue sky and breathe fresh air,but now this would be a real luxury.Car exhaust has seriously polluted the air and people’s health is greatly endangered.It seems certain that we human beings have already made a fatal mistake that could only be remedied by bringing down the number of cars hugely. Sure,we can not deny the fact that cars have brought us speed,comfort and greater mobility.However,these have already been history.We are suffering much more from cars than benefiting from them.Our health conditions are going down rapidly both due to the polluted air that we have to breathe every second and our lack of exercise as a result of the ever increasing amount of time we have to spend behind the wheel! What can we do?From the foregoing discussion,I’m sure we have already found a solution:to discourage people to use cars!I know very well that science and technology are also developing very fast and there might be better solutions coming up in the future,but, before that,let’s first salvage ourselves in such a passive way! 雅思写作八分经典作文：计算机的利与弊 Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer.Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? It is simply absurd to assert that with historical objects and works of art being able to be

专业外教批改雅思作文范例

TA/TR 5 ? addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places ? expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn ? presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail CC 5 ? presents information with some organization but there may be a lack of overall progression ? makes inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices ?may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution ? may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate LR 6 ? uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task ? attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy ?makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication GRA 6 ? uses a variety of complex structures ? produces frequent error-free sentences ? has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors Score 22/5.5 Other Items Affecting Score Under length √No. of words 249 Penalty .5 Off-topic x Memorized ——Illegible ——Overall Band Score 5.5-.5=5 band range band range 9 [35-36] 4 [15-17) 8.5 [33-35) 3.5 [13-15) 8 [31-33) 3 [11-13) 7.5 [29-31) 2.5 [9-11) 7 [27-29) 2 [7-9) 6.5 [25-27) 1.5 [5-7) 6 [23-25) 1 [3-5)

雅思6.5分 小作文范文参考

●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项：TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识： 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图，都要提一下。此后可加一句：In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充：在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结，这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词：To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据，这里改为：for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句，建议写出来具体的量词至少：The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了，可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像，是时间长短像，改为：which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5（TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0） 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了，分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装，如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以，试着多换换题目话题词汇，如people=residents=citizens

雅思写作经验分享~~从6分到7.5分的漫漫长路_(3.19更新：7分作文+推介书目+自我鼓励的说话)

前言 ?出于对剑桥雅思的爱恨交加，出于对那些需要完成留学梦移民梦的人的感同身受，出于对那些在烤鸭路上屡战屡败屡败屡战的人的精神支持，出于对那些仍在迷茫、仍在盲目背单词、仍在疯狂买参考书、仍在迷恋机经的人的劝勉与鼓励，出于对网络上面所谓出售雅思写作7分资料的虚假广告的无比痛恨，出于对某些所谓名师名校培训机构的不齿不屑，出于那些迷恋习惯背诵范文依赖别人的鸭子们的真诚忠告，出于对那些急需在7月1日之前考到雅思4个7（澳洲会计毕业生，你懂的）的人的理解和帮助，出于上天对我的眷顾和怜悯，出于·········出于因为我曾经也是这么一种人，也是有这么一种经历，我决定，无偿地，毫无保留地，完整地分享我在过去三月自己总结的雅思复习计划和资料（本人曾经的弱项是写作和口语（对，是曾经，哈哈！），所以，我的资料绝大多数都是写作和口语）~~~ ?争取写一篇最全最好的雅思写作经验分享，和更多的鸭友们远离全聚德烤鸭店的火海！ 从4年前为了完成踏进悉尼大学的留学梦，到现在努力实现的澳大利亚梦，雅思成为了一个绕不开的情意结。其中走了特别多的弯路，摔了特别多的跤，失去了很多，也收获了很多。从当初的总分6.5而单科不低于6分的大学门槛到现在的A类4个7的独木桥，对于这个来自英国的―老熟人‖，可谓百般滋味在心头。雅思的备考也是一种―被烤‖，在烤鸭过程中，一不小心，有可能首先被这只鸭给烤焦了。焦虑，迷茫，急躁，失落，绝望，期待，紧张，亢奋，XX失调等所有更年期综合症状都会在备考的过程中轮番上映。 从2010年12月到2011年2月底，我一共参加了4次雅思考试(12月11日，1月22日，2月12日和2月26日)，成绩为： 12月11日：听力：7.0，阅读：6.5，写作：6.0，口语：6.0 01月22日：听力：6.5，阅读：7.0，写作：6.0，口语：7.0 02月12日：听力：7.0，阅读：7.5，写作：6.5，口语：8.5 02月26日：听力：7.0，阅读：7.5，写作：7.5，口语：7.0 03月05日：听力：7.0，阅读：7.5，写作：7.0，口语：8.0 可以说，在过去的三个月里面，我感受过裸考过后无言以对的惶恐，体味过努力过后略有进步的喜悦，忍受着就差0.5、与目标无比接近却未能接近的失落，最后，苦尽甘来。因为这次考试，至少再一次让我确信‖天道酬勤―。NO SWEAT, NO SWEET; NO PAIN, NO GAIN。

雅思写作批改--小作文范例2

Many women need to continue working even after they have children. The charts below show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. The pie charts illustrate the working profile of mother with dependent children in different age range. There are three kinds of working pattern: not working, working part-time and working full time. It is clearly from the picture that the younger the youngest dependent child, the more mothers are apt to be not taking a job. With dependent child under 2 years old, 70% of mothers are not working while for mothers of children older than 10 years old, only 26% of them do not have a job. （差距最大的not working） In comparison, more mothers with older children tend to work part time. Only 19% of them with younger than 2 years old kids prefer part time job while after their children develop to 5 years old and extend, about half of them are able to work part time. Situation of full time working mother is similar but with a difference that 29% of mothers tend to work full time only after their children grow to 10 years old, while before that, only about one tenth of them would like to do full time job. To recall, before fifth birthday of their children, most mothers tend to not work or take part time job, while after that, most of them are apt to work part time.

雅思作文模板经典

同意与否文体 There is no denying that the specific issue of sth./ 或接whether 从句has become controversial. However, in spite of those who are against/ for …, I approve wholeheartedly of/ 或I strongly object to the idea that … Those who hold negative/ positive attitude towards … believe that … may exert adverse/ significant effect on us. … is always top of the list of their argument. For example,…(请用举例子的方法解释). Besides, those critics/ advocates also claim that …（此处写第二个原因）for the reason that …. It is often the case that …(此处总结上段反方提出的几个观点)。But when it comes to …, …, and …,(此处先总结写你所支持的几个理由)，an increasing number of people including me are convinced that .. .For one thing, …。The evidence recently presented in research journals available to the public confirms that …此处写调查结果，通过数字来证明自己所列举的理由1。Similarly,… should also deserve our special attention. In other words, …(换种说法解释)。If…not, ..(反过来在说一遍)。Last but not least, … Obviously, it is hard for both sides to come to an agreement on this complicated issue, but I still commit to the notion that …(再重申你的立场)。 Agree or disagree （两边分）

雅思写作批改 (13)

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students about the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some people become a good citizens later when they come into ex-prisoners. I completely believe this idea about allowing ex-prisoners to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law. There are many methods to provide information about protecting student. Firstly, invitation police officers come to school to educate young people. This method could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens from lawbreakers, but young people are often hear somethings from some people who isn’t a authority man. Secondly, teacher to speak to their students about crime which take some dangerous things. Thirdly, education films may be beneficial for young people to ask some questions each other. In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advices from someone who can speak himself experience. Ex-prisoners can tell young people a story about how they became involved in crime, the dangerous of a criminal lifestyle, and what the life in prison is really like. I deem it is a great way to describe a life about prisons, and I reckon most of teenager are willing to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact. In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes.