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雅思作文批改范例

雅思作文批改范例
雅思作文批改范例

2011年9月15日广告儿童广告利弊类一方观点Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a heated debate about the effect of advertisements to kids. A part of individuals consider that ads have negative impacts on children and it should be stopped. In my eyesight, I think that this behaves are reasonable.

At present, a large number of advertisers are targeting their works at children. Many individuals find it advisable to abolish this kind of advertising for it has harmful effects on children. Personally, I totally agree with this idea. Indeed, advertising is beneficial to people in to certain extent. Those people, as children’s parents can know products what they want to buy from advertising, such as toys, milk, and something like that kids use. And parents would buy some things for their children easier easily. In addition, the persons people who invest in ads can receive huge interests from their products. There are amount many of parents to buy ing the products related to ads produces because their kids' hope to own it.

However, my stance is based on the followings that the ads aiming at children could are jeopardize to children should be banned. Firstly, some people who invest in ads intend to earn money from the unawareness of kids. They will use the extreme ly way to attract them. Using the 'ads words ' which is are exaggerated will mislead children to buy it the advertised products. Besides, ads are not good for children's mental and physical health. For instance, this

practice which arouse s a sense of buying stuffs unlimitedly. The last but not least, uncontrolled buying goods from ads would bounder increase the finance pressure of children's on parents. Especially, especially those who has have not enough money to buy ing expensive ads things.

To conclude, ads are harmful to children’s growing. Although they can make buy ing stuffs simpler, while the effects of ads will make more and more kids out of the control from of their desire. The advertisements just serve as tools that businessman want to get profits with.

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析 距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走,是的,不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家,一起来学习吧。 雅思7分大作范文批改和解析 雅思写作提高第一步:结构(5.0 - 5.5) 问题:出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad) 同学:One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners. 解析:出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education,在国内就不是better? 出

雅思写作批改 (18)

Public museums are no longer important because people can see the historical objects and artworks on the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (250words,within 40min) Traditionally, we usually need to travel a long time to a museum just to view several historical objects as well as artworks, but now, some people, however, suggest that museums are not that significant as we are able to search almost all the details of ones if we like. In my opinion, public museums will not remain as a critical role in our lives. Admittedly, it would be of more inconvenience when we have to go to a certain museum to see some objects rather than searching it on the Internet.For one thing, most of the information online is always free and easy to access but if we are required to one museum we have to pay for the transportation fee, the ticket, even a meal near a museum. For another, it might also be a pity if some of the object would not be exhibit all of the time so it is normal to meeta condition that you could not even take a look at one that you really like. Internet, though, never facing this problem so you can view it any time you want. For those organizations who run the museum such as governments, it is costly to open museums as well as exhibiting and protecting all the time. (时间到)They are supposed to protect the historical object and artwork which always worth several millions of dollars for that reason they not only have to employ some super professional security guard in high salariesbut also buy some high tech machine to spy themand it is really a waste of money. What’s worse, if

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雅思写作九分作文范文欣赏: There is no doubt that helping students find a job is one of the primary functions of university education,but universities do exist for other purposes such as improving students’ analytical skills and raising students’ moral standards. A university education can be seen as a process of improving students’ analytical thinking. The variety of courses offered at university inspires students in various ways,therefore improving their analytical ability. For example,science courses such as math and biology help students develop a rational way of thinking whereas arts courses such as literature may let students ponder over issues from a logical,multi- dimensional perspective; and courses in social sciences force students to recognize the ideas that have been traditionally assumed to be acceptable and unproblematic.

雅思5分 剑桥7 Test1 小作文范文

雅思5分剑桥7 Test1 小作文范文 学生原文: The graph shows the total number of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004. In this graph, we can see the consumption of chicken experienced a erratic rise of almost 100 Grans per person per week during 25 years. Then, the consumption of fish always rank the last. And the consumption of the Lamp underwent a erratic decline from 1976 to 2004. In the spite of the fact that from 1979 to 1984 withnessed a wild fluctuation rise in consumption of Beef, when it experienced a sharply decline over last 20 years. While the consumption of chicken underwent a erratic rise from 1979 to 2004. After that, the consumption of fish almost remain the same level at 50 grans per person per week in 25 years. And subsequently, the comsuption of lamb showed a moderate decline, dropping by almost 50 Grans per person per week in 25 years, and the consumption of chicken surpassed it in the early 5 years.

雅思作文批改---经典版 (3)

Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development. Others thought that they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the robots. The pros and cons of technology development have long attracted considerable public attention for they are closely connected with human life. Some people argue that robotic technology can be very harmful and has the potential to destroy social stability. However, sound and attractive as their arguments may seem, I am still convince that there are more advantages than disadvantages of robots. With the assistance of robots, one can enjoy a more convenient life thus will have more time to accompany his family. For example, if robots can help mothers with gardening and laundry, they will have more time to spend with their kids, which is essential for the mental and physical development of children as well as the harmoness of the family. Healthy family relationship will undoubtly result in a better society eventually, then all of us should thank for the robot. Moreover, the significance of robots is also because they are important supplement or substitution of human labor. For some dangerous job, such as deep well mining and electric work, using robots instead of human will improve the safety rate and efficiency substancially without causing any injury. People who relase from the high pressure of dangerous work can enjoy a better life. However, it is also true to some extent that robots can influent the society in a negative way. For example, crime may become easier and more frequently with the help of high technology; and the substitution of human labor may result in the increasing of unemployment and extend to the decline of economy. However, these problems can be solved by education. A proper education means that people will obtain more useful skills and knowledge. It also means that they will become more reliable people who can take responsibility for the society, and these purpose, excitingly, can be achieved in an earlier day with the help of robots. To sum up, robots can help human enjoy a more convenient and safer life. They may have negative effects but we can always fix the problems by education. 总点评:

雅思大作文批改范例4

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think itis a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion. It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea. Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book. On the other handthe books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the

雅思作文范文大全

好的东西,和大家分享,看这个帖子的人肯定比较多,大家别冒险背诵,了解一下范文的思路好了。 v105 some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages,do you agre e or disagree? 范文1 the birth of cars have made an enormous change to our life.in the past,we travel from one pl ace to another only by foot,nowaday,cars can do it .its goes withour saying that the inventi on of cars bring great benefit to all of us.but as proverb goes:no garden without weeds.ca r is not exception. owing a car has a lot of advantages.for one thing,car provide us the most convient way of tr ansportation.we can get around freely without spenting a lot of time.emotionally,i always fo und driving is so exciting.for another,its the comfortable to drive a car.In winter.driver s always can stay warm and dry even in rainy whether,in addition,drivers are usually safe i n their cars when they are out at night. Cars bring the human merits,their side-effects graudually come to the surface.firstly,to ru n a car need a lot of oil,which is getting less and less.the increasing number of cars contr ibute the lacking of energy.secondlly,as more and more cars are used,the traffic ecpeciall y in big cities is getting heaver and heavier,which lead to the serious social problem--traf fic jam.in addition,the inceasing numbers of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantities of c arbon monoxide into atmosphere.it make the air of cities unbreathabe,it strip people contac t with frensh air. therefore,the new energy should be explored to replace the oil so that our envionmental poll ution can be avioded .and the strick law should be issued to keep the numbers of cars unde r control.thus,our heavier traffic can be solluted! 范文2 Private cars vs Public traffic As traffic problems become more and more serious in many cities of developed and developin g countries, their governments have to try hard and loads of money and energy have been spen t to deal with them. Firstly, it is not efficient for the commuters to use their private cars to and back from th eir workplaces. Occasionally we can see they have to sit on the wheels wasting time and fue

慎小嶷 《十天突破雅思写作》总结2

General Knowledge 注意: 1. 作文要有实质内容。 2. 6分:260~270个词左右;6.5分:280个词以上。 3. 没有必要一定写长难句,但要提高句子的准确度和多样性。必须在对英语造句知识准确理解和把握的基础上流畅地写出复杂的长句子,而不是刻意、机械地拉长句子。(准确、严密、多样、清晰) 4. 对于零星出现的少量拼写错误,只要不引起歧义,是不会导致严重扣分的,但要努力减少作文里出现拼写错误的可能。 5. 考场里没有时间打草稿,但可以在印考题的试题纸上把看到题目后头脑里闪现出的ideas、考前准备的相关加分词汇和句型大致记录一下。 6. 当考官要求停笔时即使还没有写完也一定要停下来,否则会被判为违纪行为。 7. 考前练习一定要尽可能模拟实战:下载标准格式的答题纸;用铅笔写作,每行10~12个单词;严格控制时间,Task 1不应超过25 min,Task 2不应超过45 min。备考初期,可将Task 1和Task 2分开练习,但在考前一周内,必须演练完整的写作考试全程,严格控制时间,写完后再核对或请有经验的老师批改。 8.

如果Task 2准备得较为充分,有信心在40min写出一篇自己满意的议论文,那么就先完成Task 2。反之,就先写Task 1。 9. 齐头式:每段开头顶格写,每两段之间空一行 缩入式:每段开头后退3~4个字母的距离,每个段落之间不空行 10. 可使用I/we、被动语态,但不宜滥用;可将But/So放在句首 11. 7分或以上的作文对于用词的要求是准确,而不是冗长 ?Topics ?学术类写作的特殊要求 1. 不接受缩写形式 2. 不使用非正式口语表达 3. 英美拼写不能混淆 4. 用词要有特色 5. 句式不能过于短促 6. 句式不能过于干瘪 7. 感情色彩不能过于强烈

雅思6.5分 小作文范文参考

●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项:TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识: 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图,都要提一下。此后可加一句:In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充:在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结,这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词:To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据,这里改为:for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句,建议写出来具体的量词至少:The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了,可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像,是时间长短像,改为:which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5(TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0) 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了,分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装,如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以,试着多换换题目话题词汇,如people=residents=citizens

雅思作文范文十篇

11. Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. In the modern society today, a large number of parents spend their time in the job. Due to this situation, many children do not get much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Of course I admit of children get more comfortable life than before, also children probably having higher living standard as well. Nevertheless, what are the children really want? Is the money? Is the computer? Or is the attention from their dad or mom? The otherwise, what does the parents want to leave in the childhood of their children? In my opinion, I agree with many children do not get much attention from their parents as children did in the past. In addition, I understand the parents wish to giving better life to their children, therefore, they work harder than before, because of this, the parents lost the time to accompany with their children and unable to pay attention to their children as the children did in the past, but I think the most important thinking is “there are not thing important than the attention from the parents to children”. We should know the rich materia l life can?t replace the care from parents of children. One of parents? responsibilities is take good care to their children, also parents should spend more time to teach children. In conclusion, modern lifestyle changed relationship between parents and children, many parents misunderstand the meaning of bring up of children, they thought “bring up of children” means giving money to their children, giving anything the children want is love. But actually it totally wrong, the most important part of bring up must be pay attention to children, care them, teach them, not only spend money of them. 12. More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. (brain drain) The so-called …brain drain? from poor to rich c ountries is now robbing poorer countries of essential personnel like doctors, nurses, engineers, and the trend is set to continue, if not to get worse. Some people say this movement of people around the world is not a new phenomenon. Migrant workers have always been attracted by the wider choice of employment and greater opportunity in major cities in their own countries and abroad. Recently, as the technological age has advanced and as richer countries find themselves with not enough workers to feed their development, they have had to run to other parts of

G类5.5分雅思大作文范文

1.作文题目 School age children and teenagers usually like to do the same things as their friends but parents often have a different idea about what their children should be doing. Should parents always decide how children spend their free time? 2.学生作文 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with their parents. Secondly, as children, they are living in a modern and developing world, which makes them change their minds frequently. However, many parents are quite reluctant to accept new ideas and technologies. Therefore, their views will be dissimilar with their children, which are really impossible to reach an agreement. At last, children prefer trying out new adventurous challenges, whereas their parents are rigid and only want stable life. So parents cannot really control and decide for their children. Furthermore, the ideas of parents are not quite always correct and sometime might mislead their children. Of course, there is no doubt that old people have more life experiences and can handle any difficult situations in most of time. However, the modern world is not as they think as it used to be, so they might under-estimate some circumstances which might have negative effects on their children. For example, most parents believe that as long as their children can obtain higher degrees from universities will definitely have better future. Contrasty, in reality, the abilities and moral standards of children are much more important than just only university degrees. In conclusion, parents should let children to create their own world and give them freedom to assign their leisure time, which might lead them to success eventually. Words: 279 3.老师批改: 文中标识: 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem, which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with from their parents. For instance, they have their own preference to choosing majors, careers or even the ways of living. (cc:这里需要给出一点他们怎么个不同,比如选未来的职业或者生活等。) Secondly, as

雅思写作范文

(七分范文)Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma that whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university. The option to start work straight after school is attractive for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In this way, they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. In terms of their career,young people who decide to find work, rather than continue their studies, may progress more quickly. They will have the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession. This may lead to promotions and a successful career.

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